ASCEND

You don’t have to be at the very top. But you should at least try. Give yourself a fighting chance. A good attempt. And prove to yourself that you are stronger than you believe. Most times. We are. It doesn’t have to be for others. Nobody else needs to know. But do your best to get better every day, even if it’s for mundane things like making your bed or brushing your teeth. Throughout a year, it might not seem like much. But throughout a lifetime. Simple acts of improvement add up. Keep going, and you may find that you’ve always had it in you to ascend.

by Jason Lam

YOU HAVE IT IN YOU

If you are unhappy with your life you have it within you to change it and make things better. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. I’m saying it is within your realm of capabilities to make things better in your life. But you need to want it and you need to have the discipline and the patience to understand that real noticeable change starts with baby steps and could take years to really notice any sort of difference. Whatever you do, stop finding a way to justify your problems and stop looking for people to make you feel better about your sad predicament. Instead, look for people to challenge you, to offer ideas, action steps, and solutions to the problems you are trying to fix. From my experience, those people are out there, but more likely than not, you have to be the one that goes out looking for them. They won’t be looking for you. Often, you probably won’t even want to listen to the ones looking for you because that means you’re not motivated. They found you at a static state. You need to motivate yourself. Pick yourself up and get moving even if it’s a tiny increment a day. Slow progress is still progress. One step is still better than none. Stop complaining. Stop blaming. Stop making excuses. If you need to vent, sure, go ahead and vent, scream into a pillow. Hit a punching bag. But in order to improve your life, you need to act. It might not happen in a day, it might not happen in a year. But you need to try. Sure, sometimes trying will lead you down some dead ends. You might look less graceful than you’d like. Your friends might look at you weird for doing things that are out of the ordinary. But at least you’re moving. At least you’re collecting information. And the more you do, the more you learn about what’s possible, and you learn about what’s possible within you. Most people won’t do what I just said you should do because most people would rather stay exactly where they are and hope to be “saved”. But newsflash, nobody’s coming to save you. So you can sit on your ass and keep complaining for the rest of your life and play the role of the victim or you can stand your ass up and just do something. Anything. Sure, it’s hard. Sure you might know less than you think you should know. But the question becomes, what the fuck else do you have to do anyway? You already know what you’re doing isn’t working. But for some reason, you just keep doing the same damn things and complaining about constantly getting the same sorry results. Who’s responsibility does that fall on? Are you still going to keep pointing the finger towards other people? There’s a saying that goes, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me”. Well, I don’t think that’s any different from improving your life. You got to where you are today by some combination of actions and inaction, some combination of the people you met and didn’t meet. Some combination of opportunities and missed opportunities, and so you’ve ended up here. Well, who do you think is on the losing end of the bargain if you keep going down the road you’ve been on this whole time. Shame on who? If you are unhappy with your life, you have it within you to change and make things better. Stop complaining. Stop blaming. Start doing.

by Jason Lam

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

What to do when you don't know what to do

Admit you don't know what to do

Get over the fact that you are a flawed human being

Summon up the courage to ask for help

Receive help

Learn from the help

Get better

Next time you encounter a similar situation you might be able to ask for less help

That will make you feel better about yourself

Because you might feel like you’re an infallible human being after all

Until, of course, you end up needing help again

by Jason Lam

"WHAT'S SOMETHING YOU WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT YOU?"

My friend, Natalie, once took me to eat at Tito’s Tacos in Culver City, Los Angeles. That was when she introduced me to this amazing dish called, “chilaquiles”. For those of you who don’t know. It’s tortilla chips covered in a delicious red sauce, freshly chopped green onions, sour cream, queso, and if you want you can even add an egg on top. Of course, we had to add the egg.

During the meal, we talked about life and artistry, which is something we often talk about. I like talking to her because she is very understanding, and as an artist herself, I feel she gets me in ways that maybe other people don’t.

And as the conversation weaved through seemingly inappropriate topics like sexual organs and other disgusting things to life purposes and goals, (we’re weird like that), she asked me:

“What’s something you wish people knew about you?”

My answer: I’m actually trying to help.

This was a question no one had ever asked me. And this was a truth I noticed I never expressed.

I’m here to help.

I want to help.

As cheesy as it sounds, I want to leave this world a better place than I found it. My desire to help informs everything I do. From my seemingly lazy days where I appear to be doing nothing. To my angry rants and frustration when I feel like things aren’t quite going the way I’d like.

I travel because I want help. I create because I want to help. I write because I want to help.

Maybe it comes across a weird way. Maybe it’s a little too abstract. Maybe it sounds too uppity or preachy. But from my experience, it always served to put myself out there and share my perspective than it was to stay on the sidelines, hoping, wishing, and praying that I would get picked.

I create, I share, I put myself out there because I picked myself. I decided not to wait. I decided to fail and embarrass myself in the hopes that I get better, and that by getting better, I can help even more. That’s something I wish people knew about me. Because I know sometimes as an artist I may seem self-indulgent. I struggle with that sometimes too. But through it all. I’m here to help. I really am.

Thank you, Natalie, for creating the space to bring that out of me. And also for introducing me to the most delicious meal of my life.

I love chilaquiles! =)

by Jason Lam

1 SECOND EVERYDAY - 2018

Quite a random year. But still learned a lot. I turned 30! Yikes!

by Jason Lam

NO ONE'S GOING TO TELL YOU TO START

No one’s going to tell you to start

And even after you’ve started, no one’s going to tell you to keep going

Do what you know is true to yourself

Not everyone is going to like it

Some people are going to hate what you do

Others couldn’t have a care in the world

But there will always be the select few that will love what you do

And those are the people that matter

Create for those people

Forget about everyone else

Keep going

by Jason Lam

"I'M NOT GOOD"

It’s not fair to say you’re not good at something that you’ve never put your time into. Or better yet, saying you’re not good at something you never gave yourself an opportunity to get good at.

Sometimes I teach dance workshops. They’re super fun. And a lot of times, I’ll have some beginners walk up to me telling me how they’ve never done this before. I can tell by the sound of their voice they are super nervous. I’ve even pulled several of them up to be my teaching assistant. Only to see their faces turn white, almost begging me to choose somebody else. But here’s how I think of it. You came to class. So you’re giving yourself this opportunity. Now we just need some time and energy to get you where you want to be, and if not, at least one step closer. All the beginner students who are freaking out? By the end of class, they’re always the ones having the most fun, laughing, smiling, and DANCING. Their previous fearful self? Gone. It’s something that always brings me joy and it’s one of the reasons why I love sharing so much.

Maybe whatever you think you’re "not good" at isn’t something you should be saying to yourself. Instead, you should be saying, “I haven’t given myself the opportunity to get better yet”.

by Jason Lam

SHORT TERM WEALTH

Dabbling in everything for all of your twenties probably isn’t the best idea in terms of generating wealth from a young age. Anyone who understands personal finance knows that you need “compound interest” for your money to grow, and the later you start, the longer it will take to become financially free.

I’ve already missed the boat on that one, unfortunately, but fortunately, I don’t ever plan on retiring. Even more, I allowed myself the opportunity to pursue my enthusiasms, so much to the point where the lack of dollars in my bank account means nothing in comparison to the life experience I’ve gained.

It is precisely because I’ve dabbled that I know what I want to go all in on. It’s because I’ve worked so many odd jobs that I now have a clearer picture of what I want. And no, I don’t necessarily need to be doing epic shit all the time. I don’t have to be traveling the world all the time. I don’t have to have the greatest food or the prettiest landscapes. I also don’t need to be working with the biggest brand names. I just need to be learning, growing, and sharing.

This blog, this website, and all the work I share is the story of that lifelong journey.

by Jason Lam

MAD LIBS

“You’re not going to get by in life with _________”

Fill in the blank

Been being real with myself. Being honest about what’s holding me back. What’s stopping my progress. Because as much progress I think I’ve made, I know there are some real things weighing me down.

Thought this would be a good remix on the mad libs we used to play with as kids as a way to trick myself into finding out the dark truths I’d rather ignore…

The things you need to hear will present itself to you, but you must have the courage to face it.

by Jason Lam

FIND THE WEAKNESS TO YOUR WEAKNESS

If you are shy, find out what your shyness is afraid. If you are timid, find the weakness to the timidness. If you often procrastinate, find procrastinations biggest enemy. 

I know this sounds weird, but I’ve been thinking about this approach a lot versus suddenly building the confidence to do all the things I’ve ever wanted.

Instead of rising up to the occasion, maybe it’s better to weaken the obstacles ahead just enough to keep going.

by Jason Lam

EVERYBODY WILL ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY

You talk weird. Why are you so slow. Why are you so skinny. That’s a few I've heard in my life. That’s also the reason why it’s so hard to put yourself out there and go for what you really want. Because when you do, you’re exposed. There’s nowhere to hide. No thanks. Better to stay inside where it's safe. Keep my head down. Follow the rules. It’s comfortable here.

But the thing is it’s not comfortable. It’s a fake box created by other people to make you feel comfortable.

It's an illusion.

Criticism is everywhere.

Constructive criticism is rare.

Curate your critiques so you get what you need. Everybody's got something to say, but it might not be the message most necessary to your journey.

Most often, I realized people talking negatively are really just talking about themselves. They’re unhappy about something in their own life, and so they dump all that garbage on you. By dumping all this garbage on you, they get to refresh. And if in the unfortunate situation you agree with what they say and decide not to live your life, they also get to feel good about being right.

But it’s your choice to decide whether or not to take that garbage. Who knows, you might find some real gems among all the commentary, but in the end, you are responsible for how your life turns out, for better, and for worse.

You decide what you want to listen to, and if you want, you can turn off the radio altogether.

"If I listened to feedback, I would have quit on the first day."
- Seth Godin

by Jason Lam

NOBODY'S SAFE

Nobody gets out of here alive. This thing is going to kill you. I had this shocking realization in my early twenties. It has affected all my decisions up to this point. Sometimes, it has still led me down some wrong paths. Lose friends. Have arguments with loved ones. Everything. But I can’t help it. You’re all in on this. We all are. And I intend on doing everything I can with what little time I have left.

by Jason Lam

CHOOSE YOUR FAILURES

No decision is going to be perfect. So choose your failures. Choose your obstacles and frustrations. Choose your enemy. Because you will face them whether you want to or not, so why not be intentional about it? By choosing your failures, they will never take you by surprise. You will never be obliterated by them to the point where you’d have to quit entirely. Instead, you will be more prepared to face the obstacles that WILL come. The enemies that WILL attack. The frustrations that WILL affect you and your family. And when it does. Don’t complain. Remind yourself that this is what you wanted. You chose this life. This was a decision you made. Own it.

by Jason Lam

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KEEP GOING?

What do you need to keep going?

I like this question for three reasons:

1. It assumes you are already working towards your goal. Which assumes you are capable, willing, and deserving of having what you want.

2. This question doesn’t allow excuses. It only allows forward progression. It is purely utilitarian.

3. You can only answer with what you know will be of true benefit to your journey.

My answer to this question in regards to my work is simple.

I need the discipline and the confidence to keep creating.

How about you?

by Jason Lam

BE CAREFUL OF YOUR MOOD

There are many times when I feel like I’ve hit my lowest point and everything sucks. I feel like I should just quit photography and never touch a camera again. I feel like I should shut down this blog and never write ever again because I was a terrible writer since high school and I will never get any better. Sometimes I feel I will be single forever. Sometimes I feel like all this work I’m doing is pointless. At my extreme points, I do quit, I do shut this blog down, I do feel like I should just give up, stay in my room and do absolutely nothing. Sometimes I want to just crawl up into a little ball and disappear. But then that’s when it hits me.

It’s not that everything sucks.

It’s that I’m in a bad mood.

And like how the foggy weather here in San Francisco just seems to make everything feel dark and gray. The mood in my mind makes everything in my life seem pointless and void of any meaning.

I need to be more careful about this. I need to understand that it is precisely the fact that I’m in a bad mood that everything seems to be the absolute worst. When really, I just need to be a little more cognizant about how the “weather” affects me. Better yet, to know how to change the weather, if possible.

That often means spending more time with friends. Taking more breaks. Making sure I get enough sleep. And to not think about life too much after dinner. Trust me. It works. Something about the dark night often just leads to dark thoughts.

If you’re ever feeling how I’ve felt. Like everything sucks. Take a step back and make sure it’s not because you’re just in a bad mood. I know, it’s hard to be bright and positive when everything is dark, rainy, and gray, but at the least, we can try to avoid harming ourselves any further.

by Jason Lam

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET

I recently made some cutting boards. It’s all part of a larger plan to become a little handier and create more work in the analog world. I’ve been a little disenchanted with having to stare at a digital screen to make everything all the time.

The cutting boards are beautiful. I made three. One for me. Two as gifts for friends and family. They all combine beautiful pieces of walnut, cherry, and maple, all of which I went out and picked out myself, cut down the size, glued, sanded, oiled and buffed to a nice shine. I was there every step of the way. It has my personal imprint on it, and I won’t be sharing it with anyone on the internet. I’m tempted. But I won’t. Because this is something that I did just for myself, and it feels nice that way.

Do you ever feel like you can’t get any satisfaction from the things you do unless someone “likes” your photo on social media? 

I think it’s important to be able to feel good about ourselves on our own.

It’s time to take back control of the things we find joy in.

Do something for yourself.

by Jason Lam

THE SECRET GIFT OF FAILING

I once had to sing a song by Frank Sinatra.

After struggling to get through the entire song, I sighed and said, “I sound nothing like Frank Sinatra.”

My voice teacher responds very seriously, “No, you sound like you.”

The secret gift of failing is you get to be more like you.

by Jason Lam

INSTAGRAM DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL GOOD

Instagram doesnt make me feel good

I want to like it

But I can’t

I feel this pressure to be awesome

All the time

Even when I’m not

I want to delete it, and I have before

But it’s true. I miss out on a lot of social interaction with my friends and I become “out of the loop”

I don’t like being out of the loop

But being in the loop doesn’t make me feel good

What to do?

Deactivate instead of delete?

Enforce a strict schedule on myself so I only check it once a week?

Or to stop worrying and love the gram?

I don’t really know

I just know that instagram doesn’t make me feel good

by Jason Lam

HOW TO BE LESS AFRAID

You have to train yourself.

I gave myself a static shock opening a metal doorknob today. It was really weird and it rarely ever happens, but I noticed that soon after, I was hesitant to put my hand on another doorknob to open the next door.

It was just a slight hesitation, but it was an obvious pause in my step. I made it a point to go ahead and put my hand on the doorknob and open the door as I normally would anyway because I knew that if I didn't, terrible things would happen! I would never want to open a door with a metal doorknob ever again! How would I get anywhere?! Lol. Ok. Maybe not so dramatic, but kind of. My mind definitely went there, even if just for half a second.

It made me think of how easy it is to stop doing things for the rest of eternity because of one bad experience. I don't even want to think of how many things I've stopped pursuing because of one rejection, or one negative comment. 

So I think it's valid, even important to train yourself to be less afraid. To notice when fear is controlling your actions. To know when fear is affecting you and keeping you blocked. Don't run away from your fears. Instead, train yourself to be braver in the face of fear. Now excuse me as I go and open these damn metal doorknobs that give me static shocks sometimes.

by Jason Lam

YOUR FRIENDS DON'T HAVE TO LIKE YOUR WORK

It's a tough fact to face but I think it's important to accept the fact that there will be large amounts of people in his world that won't like the work you make.

And no, your friends don't have to like your work either.

It's hard and it might even make you want to quit. Especially because we've all had memories of everyone absolutely loving our random childhood scribbles as if we created the Mona Lisa.

I went to an art school for one year and basically, all we'd do is post our work on the wall and have people criticize it for the entire day. Imagine doing that for a year straight. Needless to say, I was very tired by the end of it and didn't feel like I had it in me to do it any longer.

But it's ok if people dislike your work. You might even find that you might even dislike your own work.

I don't think that should be any reason to quit.

Sometimes I think it's a good way of hearing truths that you need to hear.

Other times I think it's a good opportunity to defend your work and continue having faith in your integrity as an artist despite the opposition.

It's tough, even for me to know that I can't make everyone happy, but I've been slowly learning that its ok.

Sometimes it feels lonely.

But that's also what makes it exciting.

Keep creating.

by Jason Lam