THE 3 STAGES OF CREATIVITY

Having made art my entire life, I realize there are three main stages in the process of creativity. I’ve spent my fair share of time in every stage, (sometimes to my own demise), but that’s okay because now I get to share my learnings with you. These stages exist regardless of the medium you work in, and it serves you to know what stage you are in to help further your creative progress.

The 3 Stages of Creativity:

Stage 1 = Creation (Intuition)

• This is your “shitty” work. I put quotations around the word “shitty,” because it just refers to the work being technically rudimentary. The upside, however, is the fact that the work you create here is natural, like children’s drawings. When you’re creating from this stage, you don’t think about whether what you’re doing is good or not. You don’t care who’s watching. You’re just being yourself. Whatever happens, happens. If you don’t know what this feels like just take a few seconds to scribble your signature on a piece of paper. How did you do it? You didn’t think about it. This is a beautiful place to be in. You’re creating from the purest form of you. However, we all want to get better at our craft, so that’s when we enter the next stage.

Stage 2 = Cerebral (Technical)

• Technically proficient work. While this stage is awesome because you start building strong fundamentals, it can also be quite dangerous because if left unchecked, you might end up unknowingly crushing all of your natural intuition for the sake of technical perfection. I have definitely fallen into this never-ending abyss. Ceaselessly obsessing over the tiniest details because I’m oh so worried about what the “real professionals" will say. So let me just keep working endlessly through the night so I can be free from blame. Aka. Perfection. Aka. That shit doesn’t exist. Aka. Sorry, you’ve now entered the, “Wow, you’re good at what you do, but it doesn’t move me” phase. As you can tell, this stage is pretty self-conscious. You usually know you’re done with this stage when looking from a macro perspective, your work is technically good, but it’s lacking of soul. Put another way, you’re capable of making beautiful shiny objects, but it seems to be missing a key ingredient, you. 

Stage 3 = Creation (Intuition) + Cerebral (Technical)

• Technically proficient work that also has soul. This is the hardest stage to enter because essentially what you’re doing is trying to mend together both mind and body, which, if you have spent a good amount of time improving your craft, you may have forgotten this connection exists. This part is hard. Integrating your intuition with technical ability requires that you give up on absolute perfection. You might find that in this stage, a lot of your work may feel a little off. The whites aren’t exactly white. The blacks aren’t exactly black. Straight lines may feel a little crooked. You might find that even though you want to get the grids to match up perfectly, your intuition tells you otherwise. How in the world do you know which one is right? Well, it’s the one that feels right. Here, you are blessed with the technical ability to take what feels right and turn it into a reality. This is a beautiful place to be and it takes forever to get here. 

The 3 stages of creativity seem to work this way.

You go from leading with your gut to leading with your brain, to then merging the two so you have the technical capacity if you need it, but you don’t let it guide your decisions. Instead, you let your intuition lead the way and your learned skillsets become tools that enable you to create what you truly feel inside.

It’s almost a backwards way of working, but it’s necessary. You have to get a little too technical and follow the rules a little too much in order to see for yourself, the mediocre results you will get by doing so. And then, on your own, you have to burn your old thinking, to unlearn, and to re-learn to trust your intuition once again before school, teachers, blogs (yes, including mine), and YouTube videos told you otherwise.

Nobody else can do this for you. You must embark on this journey yourself. It’s very difficult. It can last for years, even decades. I feel like I’m just beginning to learn how to merge the two.

by Jason Lam

5 EXERCISES TO CREATE A VISION FOR YOUR LIFE

This might sound like hoopla, but there is immense power in having a vision for your life. Your vision can manifest as an image in your mind, or be as detailed as a handwritten story posted on your bedroom wall. Whichever way you go about it, having a vision provides your life with direction, keeps you motivated, and gives a sense of belief that you can achieve what you set out to do.

The counterargument would be that perhaps, a vision doesn’t help, so don’t have a vision at all, but then you leave everything to chance and may end up just drifting aimlessly and going nowhere.

I notice there are two kinds of people in this world, those who take matters into their own hands and act, and those who end up following the plans of others. For me, I’m happiest when I have control of my own time, so my vision has in large part an element of being able to decide what I do whenever I want to do it.

Here are 5 exercises that helped me come up with my vision in life:

1. Write a manifesto - Who are you and what are you about? What do you aim to do? What is the ultimate result? How do you get there? How will you feel when you get there? Write it out by hand and tape it somewhere you can see it every day as a reminder of your direction in life. 

2. Describe your perfect day - Sit down with a pen and paper and write out exactly how you want your life to look like from the moment you wake up to the moment you go back to sleep. Each and every day makes up a page in the story of your life, so it serves you to be intentional about it. Be as detailed as you can be. Where you are living? Who’s the first person you see when you wake up? What are you doing for work? What kind of work are you doing? What are you eating for breakfast? Don’t hold back. This is your moment to allow yourself to acknowledge the life you want to live and to truly illustrate what your life can look like one day.

3. Ask your friends - Sometimes we don’t know what we’re good at. We can also be very bad at knowing what we suck at. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and asking your friends for their honest opinions can be very helpful. Stick to those you trust, and be selective about the advice you take. You don’t have to listen to everyone. Focus on the ones that will help you most. You might find that you are good at a lot of things that you can then turn into a career. You will also discover the things that you should work on, or avoid completely.

4. Write yourself a million-dollar check - This one’s a little silly, but also one of my favorites. Take out a blank check and write it out to yourself for a million dollars. That’s right, $1,000,000. That’s six zeros. Who’s paying you? Why are they paying you? Who is your dream client? What is the positive impact you have on their lives? Money is a tool we all need to help realize our visions. Tape this check on your wall to further realize your vision as a possibility. Sure, a million dollars might be a little much, but better to aim too high than to aim too low.

5. Embed your vision into a daily ritual - It’s one thing to spend an afternoon doing these exercises, it’s another to remind yourself of your vision and to solidify it as a real possibility in your life on a daily basis. I remind myself of my vision every day by integrating it into my morning routine. Seeing my manifesto on my wall sets the tone for my entire day and provides me with the belief and energy to seize every opportunity. If I can do that every day for the rest of my life, then each and every second of my day is directed towards getting one step closer until, of course, I get there.

It might take some time to develop a vision for your life. Your vision might even change as you learn more about yourself. But regardless of the energy required to discover your vision, it still serves you to have one. From my experience, it’s the difference between those to make it far and those who end up drifting through life. Your vision is your own personal roadmap to where you want to go. Nobody can do this for you. You must decide for yourself the type of life you want to live and the ultimate impact you want to have in this world. Don’t hold yourself back. You are much more capable than you believe. Go out there and get after it.

I would like to end with a quote by Dale Carnegie:

“Two men looked out from prison bars, One saw the mud, the other saw stars.”

by Jason Lam

10 LIFE LESSONS I LEARNED FROM WATCHING INITIAL-D

Confession, I just watched the entire Initial-D series. Yes, all six of them. If you don’t know what it is, It’s a Japanese street racing manga that’s so freaking cool that it’s been adapted into a TV series, several movies, and the best arcade game ever.

A quick synopsis:

Set in the late 1990s in Japan, the series follows Takumi Fujiwara, an unsuspecting kid driving an old 1983 Toyota Sprinter Trueno AE86. From a young age, he was forced to make deliveries for his dad’s tofu shop every morning around the windy roads of Mt. Akina. Becoming a skilled driver without even knowing it, he begins attracting the attention of racers all over Japan, and thus, his story as the fastest downhill street racer in Japan begins.

Watch the first episode here

Like any other teenage kid going through his awkward high school years, I, too, was obsessed with Initial-D. Every Friday, my friends and I would go to the local arcade just to play this game. Drifting! Who knew you could drive a car sideways?! Everyone had their car of choice and we all shamelessly threw down what little money we had to have a chance at beating one another on the winding roads of Japan. Initial-D was the birthplace for many young car enthusiasts like myself, for many years to come. Little did I know, Initial-D is about much more than just cool cars and drifting.

Here are the top 10 life lessons I learned from watching Initial-D:

1. Importance of setting goals - In racing, you have one goal, get to the finish line before your opponent, and do it as fast as you can. Without a finish line, you have nothing to aim at. With nothing to aim at, there is no direction, and with no direction, it doesn’t matter how fast your car is, you have nowhere to go. You’re just wasted potential. Without goals, you never encounter any challenges, and without any challenges, you never have any opportunities to grow as an individual. In order to grow, you need to have goals, even if it’s just delivering tofu every morning while trying not to spill the cup of water your dad gave you. (This is how Takumi’s dad secretly trained him to become such a good driver)

2. Seek out opportunities to bring out the best in you - Challenges and battles are a big theme in Initial-D. When word gets out about Takumi’s natural talent, people start showing up from all over Japan just to challenge him to a race. Later on in the story, Takumi joins Project D, a race team whose sole purpose is to challenge others on their home court so they could elevate their own game. How badass is that? If you want to elevate your game, don’t wait around, go out and look for people better than you so you can better yourself.

3. Losing can be inspiring - I love how often competitors were shown being excited about losing a race. This sounds counterintuitive, shouldn’t they be upset? But for someone who feels like they’ve plateaued or reached their peak, losing can be exciting. It can reinvigorate your spirits. It can give you a reason to keep improving. It can also give you a fresh perspective if you’ve gotten jaded from being in the game too long. As Takumi’s father, Bunta, once says, “Losing’s not so bad, it can teach you a thing or two.”

4. Respect your opponents - No matter how much trash talk there is before a battle, almost every race is followed up with a scene of both the winner and loser acknowledging one another. The loser admits defeat but also shares what they learned and how they intend on improving. The winner doesn’t celebrate. Instead, they commend the loser and might even share some advice. It’s great sportsmanship and points to the true nature of competition that I feel is often overlooked. It’s your opponents that make you strong.

5. Do your research - Before every race, Takumi would do test runs to familiarize himself with the course and develop a strategy to win (save for a few races that Takumi won on his own without practice because he’s a G). He’d know exactly where to slow down, speed up, and where there’d be opportunities to pass if he was behind. Routine prep work doesn’t sound like the most exciting thing to watch in a manga series, but it’s a staple in the Initial-D series, and I believe this is how most races in life are won.

6. You’re only as strong as your team - Everybody needs a team of people they can turn to for support and guidance. Takumi had the support of his father when he first began his journey and then the professionalism of Project D later on in the series. I think there is a great romance in being able to do everything on your own, but any great achievement, whether we like it or not, is done by standing on the shoulders of giants. If you want to get far in life, you have to surround yourself with good people.

7. Make your own discoveries - While it‘s important to be a good student when starting off on a new endeavor, you must also be proactive about furthering your growth. What makes Takumi special is his innate ability to figure things out on his own, most notably, the variations on the “gutter techniques” when entering a corner at high speed, or simply turning off his headlights to “disappear” when he was behind his opponent. The teacher merely shows you the way, you must be the one who walks it.

8. Longevity is the key to success - You would think a manga series dedicated to street racing would be all about speed, but sustained focus was often the deciding factor between winning and losing. Nowadays, there is so much emphasis on getting things done as fast as possible. Speaking from personal experience, this mentality can often lead to burn out and just take you out of the game completely. Sure, speed is good, it might even give you a comfortable head start, but long-term focus is how the tortoise defeats the hare.

9. Keep a level head - Emotions run high when racing through the mountains of Japan. The adrenaline pumping in your veins could cause you to abandon strategy and logic. One of Takumi’s key characteristics is his non-reactiveness, almost to the point of boredom, but that is also his greatest strength. When emotions run high we are more prone to act irrationally and make mistakes. In the case of Initial-D, losing your cool meant not just losing the race, but potentially getting yourself into a terrible accident. While we are emotional beings, we must keep ourselves in check so as not to let our emotions spin our lives out of control.

10. You’re the driver - Metaphorically speaking, everybody has a car. Everybody is a driver. Everybody is heading somewhere. Along the way, you will encounter challengers who will test you. If you stick to your guns, you might even encounter people who can guide and support you. But before any of this can happen, you need to make the decision to set off on your own journey. You hold the keys to your car and only you can be the one to start the ignition and drive towards the things you want in life. So what’s something you’ve been wanting to do? Hop into the driver’s seat, put it in gear, and go.

Phew, that was fun. I hope you enjoyed this blog post. Now, to be completely transparent, I really want to learn how to drift in real life, so if you’re Takumi in the flesh, let me know! I would love to learn.

by Jason Lam

(Photo, GIF Credit: Initial-D)

ADMITTING YOU'RE LOST

Admitting you’re lost is difficult

It’s a bit like leading the way with a bunch of people following you only to find out mid-way into your trip, you made a wrong turn, but you’re too afraid of admitting you’re wrong out of fear, embarrassment, or ridicule, so you keep going.

You try to cover it up.

But eventually, you’re going to have to stop. 

Face your fears.

And say, “Hey, I’ve got something to tell you.”

“I’ve made a mistake.”

“I’m going to wrong way.”

“We need to turn back.”

But in this case, the people following you isn’t anybody else.

It’s you. 

You’re following yourself.

You’re leading yourself. 

And every step you take towards one direction you are leading the future you into that direction as well. 

And if you keep knowingly going in the wrong direction.

You will also be inadvertently leading your future self further down the wrong path.

But regardless of the fear, regret, and shame that may come with admitting you’re wrong, admitting you’re lost is essential. 

You need to do it. 

Otherwise, you keep swinging in the dark. And getting nowhere.

Admitting you’re lost doesn’t feel good. It feels like you’ve wasted so much time and energy. But it’s better than continuing on the wrong path due to an unwillingness to let go, or to appear perfect, when you know damn well, that perfection doesn’t exist.

The past is gone and you have the power to create the future. 

Will you continue leading yourself down the wrong path?

Or will you sum up the courage to stop, admit your mistake, and give yourself another chance?

by Jason Lam

3 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD "JUST DO IT"

Nike has a great slogan:

JUST DO IT

But let’s break it down a bit. Here are three reasons why you should “Just do it”.

For the purposes of this article, we’ll define “it” as the life you’ve been wanting to live.

1. Just do it - Because no one's going to ask you to do it. No one is going to magically show up at your door one day and be like, “OMG! So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!” and present your dream life to you on a silver platter. It seems to happen a lot in movies, but that's about it.

2. Keep doing it - Because after you've summoned up the courage to start, you will find that it’s much harder than you thought. You might get lonely, depressed, and lose motivation. Remind yourself to keep going because no one is going to tell you to keep going either. You need to be your own motivation. Find ways to keep yourself engaged, and just keep doing it.

3. Don't forget why you’re doing it - After you’ve pushed yourself further than you ever have before, you might feel like there’s still no hope. You might start thinking that it's time to quit. And maybe you should! But before you do that, remind yourself of why you got started in the first place. It could be that you're exactly where you want to be, and you’ve just forgotten why you came all this way in the first place. If after doing so, you still feel it's time to pursue other endeavors, so be it, at least it was a well-thought decision. But you may also find that you will want to keep going. That perhaps, you didn't want to quit, you may have just needed a break, to recalibrate, to get back to your sense and remind yourself why you started doing it.. and then just do it, again.

by Jason Lam

HOW DO YOU DEFINE YOURSELF AS A PHOTOGRAPHER?

How do you define yourself as a photographer? If you define yourself in terms of high pixel count, luxury cameras and expensive strobe lights, then you’re dead meat. That’s like if Picasso defined himself by the paintbrushes he used, if Ernest Hemingway defined himself by his typewriter, or if Walt Disney defined himself by the sketchpad he used to create Mickey Mouse. Are tools important? Damn right they are, but they are mere trivialities when it comes to who you are as an artist.

To all the photographers out there, how do you define yourself? Separate from the tools you work with; what is the content with which you fill your blank canvas?

On first thought, you may think to yourself: food, landscapes, portraits, dance, cats and sunsets. You may think that it is the content you photograph that defines you. Sure, but I invite you to dig a little deeper and to ask yourself this question:

What are you saying?

Your answer doesn’t necessarily have to be a statement; it can be a question or even a certain emotion. Whatever it is, I believe you are defined as a photographer not just by the content you are photographing, but also by what you are ultimately saying with that content. By doing so, you include a personal imprint which not only makes your work stronger, but also much more authentic and unique to you, the artist.

So I ask you again, what are you saying?

You need to have an opinion. You need to cut through all the noise and say something. Think about it this way: Are you defined as a human being by the vocal cords you use to speak? Or are you defined by what you are literally saying?

Perhaps you are saying nothing, but sometimes that’s saying a lot.

What are you trying to say?

When I ask myself this question, I have difficulty finding an answer because I also have to dig deep. Then again, the answer is always the same. What I’m trying to say is that there is beauty in truth, honesty and vulnerability. What I’m trying to say is that we don’t have to hide behind the façade of perfection. What I’m trying to say is that we’d all be a little better off if we let our guards down every once in a while and opened up – at least, that’s what I’m trying to say. Pointing at the fact that I use a certain type of camera, lighting equipment or pixel count is of no importance to me. They are mere tools, vocal cords, if you will, to get my message across.

I’m just trying to be honest, and I want to inspire others to do the same.

What are you trying to say?

by Jason Lam

THAT TIME I GOT KICKED OUT OF UCLA

Here’s a story I’ve never told anyone. When I was in high school, I got kicked out of UCLA before I even got in. See, you apply to college around the beginning of your senior year, and you find out closer to graduation if you got accepted. I was a pretty good student in high school. I got good grades and ranked 50 overall in a senior class of several hundred people. Not bad. UCLA was my school of choice and to my excitement, I got in! But here’s the catch, all universities have requirements you must fulfill even after getting accepted, otherwise your application is revoked. In my case, I had to maintain above an unweighted 3.0 GPA and not get anything lower than a C. No problem, I thought, I’ve been a good student all my life; this will be a walk in the park.

I was wrong.

There’s this teacher named Dr. Won who teaches intermediate to advanced level Chinese. Throughout my time at George Washington High School, I’ve always heard terrible stories about how she’d flunk her students for no reason, how she’d make everybody sing terrible songs, and not to mention, the outrageous Snoopy outfits she’d wear to school everyday. I never thought that I’d ever have to take her class, but lo and behold, there I was sitting in her classroom my senior year of high school.

From the first day I knew it’d be bad because she immediately split the class into two groups. This was done rather deliberately, and while nobody said it, it was quite obvious that she separated the smart people from the dumb people. Me? I was in the dumb group. I didn’t mind though, as I was surrounded by all my awesome friends. (Funny how the worst situations can always be made better with good company, huh?)

So this was how bad the class was. Not only did we not learn anything at all, but we also had to put together these ridiculous 2-inch binders filled with so much useless crap that I could never even fit it into my backpack. In addition, we had to spend hours on end gluing together pieces of lined paper, folding it perfectly so they fit back into our fat binders. Then, we’d top it all off by doing fake calligraphy. I say fake calligraphy because we had to draw oversized Chinese characters with No. 2 pencils and make it look like calligraphy. It was very tedious work, and I’m sure she was aware of that. How did she grade these assignments? By how nicely you glued together your pieces of paper, which, needless to say, took forever, and how nicely you drew the Chinese characters. Everybody hated her class. No matter how meticulous and detailed we were in putting together these monstrous pieces of artwork, she’d always find a way to mark it all up with her red sharpie and tell you to do it all over again. In addition to seeing our life’s work go to complete waste, we had to endure listening to her stories about how much she loves Snoopy day in and day out. Some days I would even forget that I was supposed to be learning Chinese.

Still, if you were able to keep your head down, not make too much of a ruckus, and just do the work, it was manageable. Like I said, I had awesome friends beside me in the “dumb” section so it was all good. My first semester? I got a C. No idea how that happened, but no matter, my overall GPA was still above a 3.0. I still met the requirements for getting into my dream school.

My second semester was a little different.

I’m not too sure what this was contingent on, but I’m guessing it was on a general bias she had toward certain students and this one huge assignment we had.

Remember those lined papers we had to glue together? And those giant Chinese characters we had to draw? Well, our final project was this, on steroids. It took forever, but my final product was a work of art. She’d love it, I thought to myself. It was the end of second semester already, the year was about to end, I’m about to graduate, and I’m sure this would garner me at least a B. Plus, enough time has passed for me to perfect this useless piece of craftsmanship. I’m sure this time, I will be able to bypass any and all imperfections she always seemed to find through her thick bifocals. Red sharpie? She would have no use for it this time.

But when I went to turn it in, she wouldn’t take it. She said I was late, even though I was obviously on time, as she was accepting the assignments of people who were coming in after me. I didn’t understand. It didn’t make any sense. This would lower my final grade by a whole letter, but I couldn’t do anything about it. When I asked for an explanation, she quickly flipped through the pages I painstakingly worked on and effortlessly vomited all over it with her red sharpie.

I had to do it all over again. I turned it in the next day. Fingers crossed.

Once again, I was wrong.

When I got my report card I was shocked because not only did I get a D-, my GPA was now below 3.0, and as expected, my letter of rejection from UCLA came promptly after that. “We regret to inform you that…” etc. Whatever, you get the message. I got kicked out of UCLA.

This sucked. I mean, it really sucked. I couldn’t tell anyone. How could I? I just told the entire world that I got into UCLA. Now I need to tell everyone that I’m not going anymore? How embarrassing. I would be the laughing stock of the century. So I kept it a secret, but the last few weeks leading up to my graduation was a nightmare. I went straight to my counselor, Mr. Kozak, who everyone also seemed to hate, but fortunately for me, we seemed to get along. I asked for his help…

OK fine, I begged.

What we had to do was to build a case. We had to explain to UCLA that Dr. Won is the type of teacher who had been at the school for so long and had such seniority, that despite the fact that she ruins the futures of students, the school cannot do anything about it. We tried to do the obvious. Ask her why I got a D-, request if I could do any sort of extra credit to raise my grade. None of it worked. She wasn’t budging. My only other option was to go to all my other teachers – I had six other teachers at the time – and ask, ok fine, beg! them to raise my grade. This was very annoying, not to mention embarrassing. I’m not going to lie, I was not the best student my very last semester in high school. Then again, I was not expecting to get hit with a D-. I did all the extra credit I could to raise my grades, but that only worked so much. What I had to do was explain my situation to all my teachers how Dr. Won was completely screwing me over, hoping that they could identify with my situation, and raise my grade to balance out the damage she did. It worked on some, it didn’t work on others.

Meanwhile, my counselor and I were trying our hardest to put together a letter of appeal explaining my situation. Even the school dean and principle stepped in. I still remember driving over to his house to drop off my letter the night before graduation. That’s right. I still didn’t know if I was going to UCLA, or college in fact.

I also remember having to go to school particularly early on graduation day to speak with one of the career counselors and see if she heard anything back about my status at UCLA. As you can tell, I was reaching out to anybody who could help me.

It was 1 hour before graduation.

She didn’t hear anything back.

I get teary eyed.

She immediately consoles and tells me that everything will be okay.

“Today, you are graduating. You’ve put in four great years of work into this school, and you will walk across that stage with your head up.”

Graduation was fun. I was part of band all 4 years, and ever since I was a freshman, there I’d be, playing the graduation song for all of our ceremonies. This time, it was my turn to walk across the stage as “Pomp and Circumstance” filled the air. I was quite proud, though it was bittersweet.

I found out a month later that everything worked out. Not only were some of my teachers willing to raise my grade, but the letter of appeal also worked. I was going to UCLA after all. Thank God.

I don’t really know what the moral of this story is, other than the fact that I just wanted to tell it. Perhaps it’s a lesson that sometimes, life takes a giant shit on you for no apparent reason, and you just have to figure it out. You can figure it out, in fact. You just have to trust that there are many people out there ready and willing to help you. You also have to have the courage to admit you need help in the first place. Oh, and cover your ass and don’t take shortcuts. You never know when life will come back and bite you.

The 4 years I spent at UCLA were some of the best years of my life. It was at UCLA where I first discovered my voice. It’s a little shocking to know that all of that could’ve been taken away so easily. But perhaps it is the fragility and elusiveness of it all that compels me to continue sharing my stories with you today.

by Jason Lam

HOW YOUR ART CAN SET YOU FREE

How I’ve been feeling about my art:

I’ve created many things, but I’ve never shown much of it. I’ve always kept it under wraps thinking that there could be a better way to show it, or a better time. I’ve been doing this for many years, and though it can feel quite rational in the beginning, keeping all this art tucked away can start eating away at your soul. Whether it be paint on canvas or words on paper, art is a means of expressing yourself, and if your art is never set free, you can never be set free.

It’s like if you really love someone, but you never tell this person how you feel. You see her everyday, but you keep waiting and thinking of a better way to confess your love. You live a life of self-censorship full of hesitancy, stuttering and half steps, when what you need to do is to climb up to the highest mountain, scream at the top of your lungs and tell the whole world how much you love her. Why is it so hard to express ourselves?

This fear of true self-expression comes from the immense pressure we feel on the day-to-day basis to appear perfect at all times for the sake of public approval. All our attention is focused on the outside world and you must put on a mask of perfection and act as if your life is flawless (hence the selfies showing how awesome our lives are. #iwokeuplikethis). While you may gain popularity by maintaining this façade, it comes at a high cost. We must hide anything about ourselves that others might not like. We start hiding from ourselves, and ultimately, we end up losing who we are as individuals.

As an artist, you must admit to yourself who you really are. It is one of the scariest things you can do, but also the one thing that will bring you the most joy. You must get out of your comfort zone and confront your fears. Who are you, really? It will be difficult because answering this question will not only conflict with the perfect image you have built for others, but also because it forces you to come face to face with the inner self that you have been hiding from all these years. You must stop neglecting the less-than-perfect aspects of your identity, and accept yourself as who you really are — as opposed to who you think you ought to be. When you are connected with your true self, you finally get to express yourself in a way that is genuine and truthful. The parts of you that are usually silenced and hidden away for fear of criticism and embarrassment finally have a way out, regardless of what others think. You can finally let yourself be seen.

When you have the courage to show your true self, your life’s work now has the opportunity to live a life of its own. It is no longer just yours. It now belongs to a larger audience: the world. No more hesitation. No more weight on your shoulders. No more words left unsaid. Your work is out there. Your love is out there. And that’s all you can really ever do. Create your best, most honest work from your heart, and let it be known. What happens next? I have no idea, but at least this way you can stop hiding from yourself and pretending you have your shit together all the time. Most people don’t. When you take off your mask of perfection, speak from your heart and allow yourself to be vulnerable, you get to be human again.

And in that moment, you are free.

by Jason Lam

I HOPE YOU FIND CLARITY

I hope you find clarity, or at least moments in which clarity reveals itself to you. When you do find these moments, I wish for you to grab hold of them and try your best not to let go, for moments of clarity are few and far between. Clarity never appears when you are searching for it, so don’t look too hard. But take notice of the situations you are in when clarity does show up. Then do yourself a favor and go back to these situations every so often. Be patient, and it will come back. I promise you.

Finding clarity is the best thing you can do for yourself because clarity does not let you lie. Clarity is honesty in its purest form. A rare gem. It won't make you do anything though. It's just there. You never even have to find it in the first place. Then again, if you've found clarity – even the slightest glimpse of it— then you owe it to yourself to at least have the courage to look a bit further, and to dig a bit deeper.

Clarity does not necessarily bring with it good or bad news. It just is, and it is up to you to make do with what it has to tell you. But first you must listen, and I hope you have the courage to listen.

Remember not to look too hard – just be aware so you notice when clarity reveals itself.

Good luck.

by Jason Lam

THIS IS WHY YOU MISS YOUR CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND

It's easy to remember the “good old days” in hindsight, even if it means missing your crazy ex-girlfriend. Because in hindsight, it feels better to remember how much she loved you, not how much that love was borderline psycho. In hindsight, you'll only remember how she would be the only person to call or text you at the end of the day to say goodnight, which made you feel cared for, loved. But you don't remember how you just wished she would get off your back about all that, "Do we REALLY have to do this EVERY NIGHT?!" In hindsight, you start wondering to yourself whether or not it was a good idea to break up with this crazy girlfriend of yours because now you're alone, unemployed, and all these dating apps don't seem to be working as good as you thought they would.

I recently watched a TED talk about why veterans miss war and find it so difficult to transition back into normal life. The conclusion was that regardless of how dangerous life at war is, you at least know that every single soldier by your side has got your back. In essence, soldiers would rather take a life-threatening situation with brothers they can trust versus an easy life where they have no idea who they can count on. I guess it's the same with crazy ex-girlfriends...

You're in the thick of it and you just can't wait to get out. Then again, when you get out, and there isn't a crazy girlfriend chiming in on every little thing you do, you wonder, is anyone going to chime in? Does anyone even know I exist? All of the sudden, the crazy ex-girlfriend doesn’t seem so bad. Yeah maybe she was a little over the top but at least you knew she loved you. When accustomed with the tumultuous battlefield of such fanatic love, it can be difficult transitioning back to normal life where you're just an average Joe, and most people wouldn’t think to look at you twice. Alienation at its finest.

You miss your crazy ex-girlfriend because at times it was actually worth it. You knew you could call her in the middle of the night, piss drunk, and have a place to stay. And you'd probably get breakfast made for you the next morning. You knew she would always want to have sex with you, and sex with crazy girls will always be the best sex. You knew that if you were stranded on an island, she'd probably come out and save you. Yeah, you'll have to deal with her jealousy, provide her with all your undying attention, etc., but in times like those, she didn't seem too bad ... in hindsight.

Having been so used to someone who was so crazy in love with you, when you’re finally given the chance to be alone, your own person, it is terrifying. Add on to that, your new potential girlfriends couldn't give two fucks about what you do, or whether or not you called or responded to her text messages. Actually, nobody seems to care enough about you all of the sudden. No overly tight hugs, no enthusiastic "I love you,” no gut-wrenching laughing spells, no highs, no lows, just a smooth ride – maybe a little too smooth.

But that's what you wanted all along, isn't it? No, what you wanted was the good without the bad, as we all do. Then again you've matured since then, and realized there's no such thing as highs without lows. No such thing as a lover without some cons to their pros. Which is why in hindsight, your crazy ex-girlfriend doesn't seem so crazy after all, and maybe the highs were worth the lows.

But who are you kidding? You don’t actually miss the craziness. You don’t miss her at all. What you miss is the feeling of being loved, the connection, the passion, the reassurance, the acknowledgement that you exist, and that someone out here in this chaotic world cares about you. Somebody that loves you more than you love yourself – now who wouldn’t miss that?

You've come too far. You've felt the highs and though you hated the lows, it's too late to settle for someone who doesn't suffocate you with their love. Funny thing is, all men will say their girlfriends are crazy if they manage to stay with them long enough. But that's probably a good thing. We honestly wouldn't feel right if you weren't crazy at least some of the time.

Still, who are you to think that you don't have a couple issues yourself? That your “crazy” ex-girlfriend didn't feel the same about you? If “In hindsight, everything is 20/20,” maybe you’ll start realizing that at the end of the day, you were the crazy one. Then again, you're not crazy if you find someone else to be crazy with.*

It’s time to find yourself another crazy girlfriend.

by Jason Lam

10 ALTERNATIVES TO FINDING YOUR "PASSION"

I personally don’t like the word “passion.” I think it’s a loaded word, but everybody seems bent on finding it, so I might as well help you along your path.

1) Who do you admire? Though I can’t say I have found my passion, I do have a few people that make me say to myself, “Wow, I want to be just like him.” You probably admire multiple people, and your ideal self is a mishmash of all those people combined. While everybody has been preaching looking within, sometimes it’s easier to look out and see what you like. So who do you admire? And to take it a step further, what do they do? And how can you get yourself closer to that?

2) If you’re in a bookstore, which section do you go to first? I’ve always gravitated toward the self-help section for some reason. And if it wasn’t the self-help section, it was the travel section. Funny enough, I never really found myself in the photography section too often, but only because I view photography as a tool we must utilize to talk about something else. Frankly speaking, I can’t use this tool unless I have something important to say. Which part of the bookstore have you been finding yourself in lately?

3) If there was a zombie apocalypse and you were the sole survivor, would you still be doing it? The basic infrastructure of life as we know it no longer exists. The typical 9-5 is gone. No more mortgage, health insurance, or fuss about a 401k match. It’s just you and the world. What would you still be doing?

4) When you are left alone, what are you drawn to? When I’m left alone, I’m drawn to thinking, seeing, and creating imaginative stories in my head, which ultimately leads me to write everything down. So when I am left alone, I write. I can’t help but write. It seems quite second nature to me. What about you?

5) If you painted a canvas of your ideal life, what would it look like? How different would it be from the life you’re living now? What can you do today that can make your life look more like the painting of your ideal life?

6) What has your inner voice been telling you to do? What do you want more of? If there is something you have been thinking about for a long time, chances are you need to go and do it. The reality is you’re going to end up doing it anyway, so any time spent doing otherwise is just time wasted. As Bruce Lee says, "If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made of." I want to create more great work, both in writing and photography, and that is what I will do.

7) What are you glad you let go of? Letting go comes with many negative connotations because it can feel like giving up, but sometimes it is the best thing you can do for yourself. Why did you let go? Sometimes knowing what you want means knowing what you don't want. Sounds simple, but this subtle distinction will help you avoid making the same mistakes further down the line.

8) What do you want your days to look like? I like this question because it forces us to think about the lifestyle you would have if you were to follow your passion instead of only focusing on what you should be doing. By posing the question this way, we can work our way backward from the life that we want to live and, ultimately, the type of work most suitable to sustain this lifestyle.

9) What gives you goosebumps? We get goosebumps when we are either cold or frightened, but fear can be interpreted as a sign that you are on the right path. I get goosebumps at the thought that my work can actually make a difference. It's scary, but it's a sign that perhaps I am headed the right direction.

10) What do you want people to remember you for? Someday, people will summarize your life in a single sentence or word. What do you want it to be? Inspiring. I want to be remembered as someone who inspired others to get what they want out of life. If by coming in contact with me or my work, I enriched your life in some way, inspired you to overcome your fears and take a step closer towards the person you want to be and the life you want to live, then I have done my job.

by Jason Lam

WHY YOU DON'T LOVE THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE YOU

Groucho Marx once said, "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."

What he means: As you are well aware of your flaws and weaknesses, you refuse to join a club that accepts an imperfect person such as yourself. They are just as inferior as you are and unworthy of your membership. 

What does this have to do with love?

We fall in love because it allows us to escape from the reality of our imperfect selves with someone who is, at least in our minds, perfect. When we fall in love, we place this person on a pedestal and idolize them because we believe they are better than us. Loving this person gives you hope that their perfection will make up for your weaknesses... laziness, fear, dishonesty, lack of courage, and all the other disgusting things you fill your life with. Because you can't find perfection in yourself, you find it in someone else and it is comforting to know that there is a chance that by being together, you will be perfect, too.

Most of the times, the people you love don't love you back. Sure, you'll be sad and upset, but you'll move on because you've loved many people that didn't love you back before. However once in a blue moon, you find a person that says the words, "I love you, too." That's when you stop loving them.

Why?

In the simplest terms, their act of returning love lowers their status down to yours and unlike them, you are not perfect. You are full of defects. If they return the love, that means they too, must be imperfect, full of defects, and as inferior as you are. Are they really just as broken, confused, and insecure as I am? I was hoping to escape when I fell in love, but instead, I just found a duplicate of my shitty self. There must have been a mistake...

No longer interested. Next.

You don't fall in love with people who are of the same level as you. They don't elicit any sense of awe or wonder. When you see or think of them, you're just reminded of your own mediocre strengths and inadequacies. Ugh.

You definitely don't fall in love with the people whom you feel are inferior to you. Why would you? He's short, average looking at best, and overweight. No thank you.

You always fall in love with people that are better than you though. Upgrade!

"I love you, too."

"Wait... Am I even worthy of an upgrade?" "What's wrong with this person?" I don't love anyone who is inferior and imperfect, why would they love me? It doesn't work, it doesn't make sense, and because you don't believe it to be a possibility when love is returned, you reject it.

You reject it like you've been rejecting yourself. You don't deserve it. You're not worthy.

Or are you?

At the end of the day, the people you love are normal at best. They're like everybody else. Human beings. It is your love that places them on a pedestal, which perpetuates your feelings of unworthiness.

I actually think this is quite unfair because those who return your love should not be rejected due to your own lack of self-confidence. As if there is a set criterion you must first achieve before anyone can love you. 

Do not fall prey to our own psychological hiccups. In order to be loved, you must first love yourself.

You have flaws, and so do I.

by Jason Lam