There are many times when I feel like I’ve hit my lowest point and everything sucks. I feel like I should just quit photography and never touch a camera again. I feel like I should shut down this blog and never write ever again because I was a terrible writer since high school and I will never get any better. Sometimes I feel I will be single forever. Sometimes I feel like all this work I’m doing is pointless. At my extreme points, I do quit, I do shut this blog down, I do feel like I should just give up, stay in my room and do absolutely nothing. Sometimes I want to just crawl up into a little ball and disappear. But then that’s when it hits me.
It’s not that everything sucks.
It’s that I’m in a bad mood.
And like how the foggy weather here in San Francisco just seems to make everything feel dark and gray. The mood in my mind makes everything in my life seem pointless and void of any meaning.
I need to be more careful about this. I need to understand that it is precisely the fact that I’m in a bad mood that everything seems to be the absolute worst. When really, I just need to be a little more cognizant about how the “weather” affects me. Better yet, to know how to change the weather, if possible.
That often means spending more time with friends. Taking more breaks. Making sure I get enough sleep. And to not think about life too much after dinner. Trust me. It works. Something about the dark night often just leads to dark thoughts.
If you’re ever feeling how I’ve felt. Like everything sucks. Take a step back and make sure it’s not because you’re just in a bad mood. I know, it’s hard to be bright and positive when everything is dark, rainy, and gray, but at the least, we can try to avoid harming ourselves any further.
by Jason Lam