No one’s going to tell you to start
And even after you’ve started, no one’s going to tell you to keep going
Do what you know is true to yourself
Not everyone is going to like it
Some people are going to hate what you do
Others couldn’t have a care in the world
But there will always be the select few that will love what you do
And those are the people that matter
Create for those people
Forget about everyone else
Keep going
by Jason Lam
It’s not fair to say you’re not good at something that you’ve never put your time into. Or better yet, saying you’re not good at something you never gave yourself an opportunity to get good at.
Sometimes I teach dance workshops. They’re super fun. And a lot of times, I’ll have some beginners walk up to me telling me how they’ve never done this before. I can tell by the sound of their voice they are super nervous. I’ve even pulled several of them up to be my teaching assistant. Only to see their faces turn white, almost begging me to choose somebody else. But here’s how I think of it. You came to class. So you’re giving yourself this opportunity. Now we just need some time and energy to get you where you want to be, and if not, at least one step closer. All the beginner students who are freaking out? By the end of class, they’re always the ones having the most fun, laughing, smiling, and DANCING. Their previous fearful self? Gone. It’s something that always brings me joy and it’s one of the reasons why I love sharing so much.
Maybe whatever you think you’re "not good" at isn’t something you should be saying to yourself. Instead, you should be saying, “I haven’t given myself the opportunity to get better yet”.
by Jason Lam
Dabbling in everything for all of your twenties probably isn’t the best idea in terms of generating wealth from a young age. Anyone who understands personal finance knows that you need “compound interest” for your money to grow, and the later you start, the longer it will take to become financially free.
I’ve already missed the boat on that one, unfortunately, but fortunately, I don’t ever plan on retiring. Even more, I allowed myself the opportunity to pursue my enthusiasms, so much to the point where the lack of dollars in my bank account means nothing in comparison to the life experience I’ve gained.
It is precisely because I’ve dabbled that I know what I want to go all in on. It’s because I’ve worked so many odd jobs that I now have a clearer picture of what I want. And no, I don’t necessarily need to be doing epic shit all the time. I don’t have to be traveling the world all the time. I don’t have to have the greatest food or the prettiest landscapes. I also don’t need to be working with the biggest brand names. I just need to be learning, growing, and sharing.
This blog, this website, and all the work I share is the story of that lifelong journey.
by Jason Lam
“You’re not going to get by in life with _________”
Fill in the blank
Been being real with myself. Being honest about what’s holding me back. What’s stopping my progress. Because as much progress I think I’ve made, I know there are some real things weighing me down.
Thought this would be a good remix on the mad libs we used to play with as kids as a way to trick myself into finding out the dark truths I’d rather ignore…
The things you need to hear will present itself to you, but you must have the courage to face it.
by Jason Lam
If you are shy, find out what your shyness is afraid. If you are timid, find the weakness to the timidness. If you often procrastinate, find procrastinations biggest enemy.
I know this sounds weird, but I’ve been thinking about this approach a lot versus suddenly building the confidence to do all the things I’ve ever wanted.
Instead of rising up to the occasion, maybe it’s better to weaken the obstacles ahead just enough to keep going.
by Jason Lam
You talk weird. Why are you so slow. Why are you so skinny. That’s a few I've heard in my life. That’s also the reason why it’s so hard to put yourself out there and go for what you really want. Because when you do, you’re exposed. There’s nowhere to hide. No thanks. Better to stay inside where it's safe. Keep my head down. Follow the rules. It’s comfortable here.
But the thing is it’s not comfortable. It’s a fake box created by other people to make you feel comfortable.
It's an illusion.
Criticism is everywhere.
Constructive criticism is rare.
Curate your critiques so you get what you need. Everybody's got something to say, but it might not be the message most necessary to your journey.
Most often, I realized people talking negatively are really just talking about themselves. They’re unhappy about something in their own life, and so they dump all that garbage on you. By dumping all this garbage on you, they get to refresh. And if in the unfortunate situation you agree with what they say and decide not to live your life, they also get to feel good about being right.
But it’s your choice to decide whether or not to take that garbage. Who knows, you might find some real gems among all the commentary, but in the end, you are responsible for how your life turns out, for better, and for worse.
You decide what you want to listen to, and if you want, you can turn off the radio altogether.
"If I listened to feedback, I would have quit on the first day."
- Seth Godin
by Jason Lam
Nobody gets out of here alive. This thing is going to kill you. I had this shocking realization in my early twenties. It has affected all my decisions up to this point. Sometimes, it has still led me down some wrong paths. Lose friends. Have arguments with loved ones. Everything. But I can’t help it. You’re all in on this. We all are. And I intend on doing everything I can with what little time I have left.
by Jason Lam
No decision is going to be perfect. So choose your failures. Choose your obstacles and frustrations. Choose your enemy. Because you will face them whether you want to or not, so why not be intentional about it? By choosing your failures, they will never take you by surprise. You will never be obliterated by them to the point where you’d have to quit entirely. Instead, you will be more prepared to face the obstacles that WILL come. The enemies that WILL attack. The frustrations that WILL affect you and your family. And when it does. Don’t complain. Remind yourself that this is what you wanted. You chose this life. This was a decision you made. Own it.
by Jason Lam
What do you need to keep going?
I like this question for three reasons:
It assumes you are already working towards your goal. Which assumes you are capable, willing, and deserving of having what you want.
This question doesn’t allow excuses. It only allows forward progression. It is purely utilitarian.
You can only answer with what you know will be of true benefit to your journey.
My answer to this question in regards to my work is simple.
I need the discipline and the confidence to keep creating.
How about you?
by Jason Lam
There are many times when I feel like I’ve hit my lowest point and everything sucks. I feel like I should just quit photography and never touch a camera again. I feel like I should shut down this blog and never write ever again because I was a terrible writer since high school and I will never get any better. Sometimes I feel I will be single forever. Sometimes I feel like all this work I’m doing is pointless. At my extreme points, I do quit, I do shut this blog down, I do feel like I should just give up, stay in my room and do absolutely nothing. Sometimes I want to just crawl up into a little ball and disappear. But then that’s when it hits me.
It’s not that everything sucks.
It’s that I’m in a bad mood.
And like how the foggy weather here in San Francisco just seems to make everything feel dark and gray. The mood in my mind makes everything in my life seem pointless and void of any meaning.
I need to be more careful about this. I need to understand that it is precisely the fact that I’m in a bad mood that everything seems to be the absolute worst. When really, I just need to be a little more cognizant about how the “weather” affects me. Better yet, to know how to change the weather, if possible.
That often means spending more time with friends. Taking more breaks. Making sure I get enough sleep. And to not think about life too much after dinner. Trust me. It works. Something about the dark night often just leads to dark thoughts.
If you’re ever feeling how I’ve felt. Like everything sucks. Take a step back and make sure it’s not because you’re just in a bad mood. I know, it’s hard to be bright and positive when everything is dark, rainy, and gray, but at the least, we can try to avoid harming ourselves any further.
by Jason Lam
I recently made some cutting boards. It’s all part of a larger plan to become a little handier and create more work in the analog world. I’ve been a little disenchanted with having to stare at a digital screen to make everything all the time.
The cutting boards are beautiful. I made three. One for me. Two as gifts for friends and family. They all combine beautiful pieces of walnut, cherry, and maple, all of which I went out and picked out myself, cut down the size, glued, sanded, oiled and buffed to a nice shine. I was there every step of the way. It has my personal imprint on it, and I won’t be sharing it with anyone on the internet. I’m tempted. But I won’t. Because this is something that I did just for myself, and it feels nice that way.
Do you ever feel like you can’t get any satisfaction from the things you do unless someone “likes” your photo on social media?
I think it’s important to be able to feel good about ourselves on our own.
It’s time to take back control of the things we find joy in.
Do something for yourself.
by Jason Lam
I once had to sing a song by Frank Sinatra.
After struggling to get through the entire song, I sighed and said, “I sound nothing like Frank Sinatra.”
My voice teacher responds very seriously, “No, you sound like you.”
The secret gift of failing is you get to be more like you.
by Jason Lam
Instagram doesnt make me feel good
I want to like it
But I can’t
I feel this pressure to be awesome
All the time
Even when I’m not
I want to delete it, and I have before
But it’s true. I miss out on a lot of social interaction with my friends and I become “out of the loop”
I don’t like being out of the loop
But being in the loop doesn’t make me feel good
What to do?
Deactivate instead of delete?
Enforce a strict schedule on myself so I only check it once a week?
Or to stop worrying and love the gram?
I don’t really know
I just know that instagram doesn’t make me feel good
by Jason Lam
You have to train yourself.
I gave myself a static shock opening a metal doorknob today. It was really weird and it rarely ever happens, but I noticed that soon after, I was hesitant to put my hand on another doorknob to open the next door.
It was just a slight hesitation, but it was an obvious pause in my step. I made it a point to go ahead and put my hand on the doorknob and open the door as I normally would anyway because I knew that if I didn't, terrible things would happen! I would never want to open a door with a metal doorknob ever again! How would I get anywhere?! Lol. Ok. Maybe not so dramatic, but kind of. My mind definitely went there, even if just for half a second.
It made me think of how easy it is to stop doing things for the rest of eternity because of one bad experience. I don't even want to think of how many things I've stopped pursuing because of one rejection, or one negative comment.
So I think it's valid, even important to train yourself to be less afraid. To notice when fear is controlling your actions. To know when fear is affecting you and keeping you blocked. Don't run away from your fears. Instead, train yourself to be braver in the face of fear. Now excuse me as I go and open these damn metal doorknobs that give me static shocks sometimes.
by Jason Lam
It's a tough fact to face but I think it's important to accept the fact that there will be large amounts of people in his world that won't like the work you make.
And no, your friends don't have to like your work either.
It's hard and it might even make you want to quit. Especially because we've all had memories of everyone absolutely loving our random childhood scribbles as if we created the Mona Lisa.
I went to an art school for one year and basically, all we'd do is post our work on the wall and have people criticize it for the entire day. Imagine doing that for a year straight. Needless to say, I was very tired by the end of it and didn't feel like I had it in me to do it any longer.
But it's ok if people dislike your work. You might even find that you might even dislike your own work.
I don't think that should be any reason to quit.
Sometimes I think it's a good way of hearing truths that you need to hear.
Other times I think it's a good opportunity to defend your work and continue having faith in your integrity as an artist despite the opposition.
It's tough, even for me to know that I can't make everyone happy, but I've been slowly learning that its ok.
Sometimes it feels lonely.
But that's also what makes it exciting.
Keep creating.
by Jason Lam
I came up with a new rule. It’s called turn your brain off after dinner. No pondering life’s big questions or if you’re headed in the right direction. Just eat some dessert, kick back, relax, maybe watch a movie or two or cuddle with your significant other and call it a night. Tomorrow’s a new day. Do it in the morning if you have to because at the end of the day you’re usually tired, and something about the darkness just leads to dark thoughts. Let’s not do that to ourselves.
by Jason Lam
Often times taking care of yourself means listening to the things you don't want to listen to. Facing truths you'd rather not face. Doing things you'd rather not do because, to be honest, it’s just way easier to keep doing the things you've always done rather than do the one thing we all know we must do:
Change.
We are the products of circumstance, sure, but we are also the product of our decisions within those circumstances. Where we are today, is a direct result of every little decision we’ve made within our given landscape. If you don't like where you are, it would make sense to stop making the same decisions. Right?
But it's not that simple.
Old habits are hard to break. Old thought patterns, even harder. Odd as it sounds, often times we’d rather choose to suffer the consequences of making the same old mistakes rather than change, because at least that way, we have certainty, and we love certainty.
So much to the point where it could prevent us from ever stepping out into the unknown to try and make things better. For good reason, we’re afraid to make things even worse. Better not rock the boat when you feel like you’re already sinking. Right?
We are creatures born into a landscape that is not of our choosing, but it is our actions that then solidify our position within that landscape. To improve your life, not only do you have to change your actions, you must be consistent enough so that your immediate landscape can then break and accommodate the new you that you are trying to create. This naturally breeds resistance. Even resentment. From others. And from yourself.
But if it means taking better care of yourself and living a better life, I think it's pain worth fighting for. You want those growing pains. You want to face those truths. You want to have the difficult conversations. Because through the darkness and gloom, there is a greater, stronger you to be found. Isn’t that worth going into the unknown? Isn’t that worth a little change?
What are some hard truths you’ve been neglecting? Some areas in your life you’ve been running away from? Consider the fact that the answers you seek lie exactly where you do not want to look.
by Jason Lam
It just doesn't seem like it until something goes terribly wrong. A family member dies or we get seriously ill. It’s almost as if we can't think clearly and act out what is truly important in our lives until we come close to death. The grim reaper should make regular appearances in our lives to remind us that the time we have here is limited and there’s no need for stalling. I recently purchased a human skull and placed it on my desk to remind me of just that. Nobody gets out of here alive, so at least try to do what makes you happy.
by Jason Lam
The real skill in life is not to find the one dream you’ve been looking for, not to buy that one dream house, and not to finally be able to go on your one dream vacation.
It’s, oddly enough, to keep changing with the changes in your life.
I've come to find, the hard way, that often times by the time I’ve achieved and reached the things that I want, I’ve already changed and become a different person, so much that the old me that once wanted said “thing” no longer exists to continue wanting it.
Not only that, times change, landscapes change, cultures and industries change. Hek, even our biology changes.
I once wanted to be a photographer, then a writer, then a YouTuber. Now, sometimes I play with the idea of a musician, but I've come to find it’s not the attainment of any one thing that will make you happy. Rather, it’s a state a mind. To be willing to bend with the wind as it comes and goes. To accept and love the rain when it pours. To shake with the earth when it roars. And to light up with the sun when it shines.
There is no one “me” that will allow me to be forever happy.
There is only an ever-changing me that I need to learn to grow with.
Keep changing with the changes.
by Jason Lam
I wish someone could’ve prepared me for all the waste I was going to produce as an artist and taught me how to trim the garbage off like weeds in a garden. Just because you made it, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good. Not everything needs to be kept. Cut things out like your life depends on it.
by Jason Lam
