One thing about the human animal is that while we are great learning machines, we don’t ever truly learn anything unless we try it ourselves. No, being told what and what not to do doesn’t cut it. We need to touch the flame. Fall off the tree. And get our hearts broken a couple times before anything begins to click. We need our own scars. Our own stories. Our own life lessons. We need to find out for ourselves.
by Jason Lam
Delaying decisions. I actually think it’s a sign of something great. It’s a sign that you believe in yourself. So much to the point where you will pass up great opportunities believing that better ones will come. The problem with that, however, is sometimes, better does not come. And you’re left alone. And your optimistic view of the world begins to crumble. Maybe you’re not that special. Maybe people don’t really have your best interests in mind. Maybe you’ve led yourself astray with your false sense of confidence. Maybe you’re just like everybody else. And in fact, in many ways, we are. That’s nothing to be ashamed about. If anything, it’s a reminder of our humanity. Nobody gets a free pass. If life throws you a bone and you ignore it enough times, eventually, life will find somebody else to take care of. All of the sudden, you’ll be left wishing for what you once never wanted. Are you holding out for something better? Maybe better will never come. Maybe what you have today, right now, that’s all the better you need.
by Jason Lam
The main thing I love about weight training is the fundamental idea behind it. It’s very simple. The weights won’t move unless you carry it. The weights stay exactly where they are, and you stay exactly where you are. You might even be going backwards as your muscles will eventually weaken from lack of use. The weight won’t change though. It’s not going anywhere. It won’t get lighter the longer you wait. Instead, it will get heavier. So much to the point where you might not be able to carry it on your own anymore. But here’s the thing, between you and the weight is time and space. And with that time and space you can make the decision to move towards it, exert the necessary energy, and exert the change you want to see in your life. And with every action you take, the weight you carry reverberates out and affects those around you. But none of that can happen if you don’t first make the decision to carry your own weight. And that’s a decision nobody can make for you, but yourself.
by Jason Lam
“A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness” - Albert Einstein
I couldn’t agree more. This also reminds me of a quote I found way back in the day by John Wooden:
“Don’t let making a living prevent you from making a life”
I think it’s a tough balance but one that’s worth the effort. We don’t hear much praise for the “quiet life.” But that doesn’t mean it’s any worse, or that the busier, noisier life is any better. Sure, the busy life might allow you to sound a bit more impressive at parties but is it worth the extra stress and anxiety? I’m not sure.
The fact that this bit of wisdom comes from one of the most influential people on earth speaks volumes. Maybe it’s okay to be a little less “successful,” especially if it means being able to spend a little more time with those you love.
by Jason Lam
“Sometimes you just have to jump out the window and grow wings on the way down” - Ray Bradbury
Been thinking a lot about how we never truly learn how to do new things until circumstances no longer allow us the luxury of not knowing…
by Jason Lam
Writing was never my forte. It was my worst subject in high school and by the time I got to college, I still needed an English tutor. Still, there’s something that always pulled me towards writing. Perhaps it was my innate curiosity that often lead me to the local bookstores in the middle of the night, or maybe it was the need to express myself when I was lost and confused. Whatever the reason, writing serves a very important role in my life, and I hope by sharing these five points it can help you too.
Here are 5 ways writing can improve your life:
Improve Your Thinking
Writing helps you think. A lot of my writing is an attempt to decipher thoughts in my mind. I may have a question that I can’t figure out the answer to or an idea I’d like to explore. By putting down words on a page I get to see what I have going on in my brain. Sometimes, writing leads me nowhere and I end up throwing everything in the trash, but other times, it leads to new discoveries that can turn into new business ideas or art concepts. Most importantly, placing my thoughts as words on a page helps me organize my thinking that I otherwise wouldn’t be able to do through just thinking alone.
Inspire yourself
A lot of writing is about giving advice. You might be surprised to find that most of the time, you’re just giving yourself advice. While that may seem a little odd, I’ve always found it inspiring to look over my old writing only to see how encouraging it could be. It’s empowering to know that you’re the one coming up with helpful tips and ideas to improve your life. In this way, writing can be a reminder of your abilities, your power, and when done well, it can do the same for others as well.
Help others
Writing is a pretty personal activity for me but I’ve always felt moved by people who write me back and telling me how helpful my words have been to their life. Your writing can help you, but it can help others too. It’s easy to feel like sharing your writing is weird. It might feel a little too self-involved, but your writing can change someone’s life. Writing and sharing your experiences can make people feel understood and less alone. It can provide answers to questions that others have been thinking about. It can provide a different perspective, and it can be inspirational. Chances are, if you’re writing about something that is real, it will resonate with people.
Relax + Eliminate Stress
A lot of thoughts get cluttered in my brain sometimes. Writing helps me get those thoughts out. Sometimes your writing doesn’t have to make sense. It could just be a brain dump where you write whatever comes to mind. This can be quite relaxing, particularly if you are feeling a little stressed or anxious. Some people keep a journal and do this first thing in the morning AKA “brain dump.” Who knows, among all the random words that come out onto the page, you might learn a thing or two about yourself that you otherwise wouldn’t have known.
Learn More About Yourself
Regardless of the mumbo jumbo that might come up when you start picking up the habit of writing, one of the greatest benefits to writing is what it can teach you about yourself. Writing helps me understand why certain thoughts exist. Maybe there’s something I need to learn. Maybe there’s someone I need to talk to. Maybe there’s something from my past that I need to confront. Writing is as much about self-discovery as it is about self-expression, and knowledge of the self is one of the greatest feats you can achieve in this life.
Action Step:
Set a time and a date in your calendar just for writing. This is your chance to see what comes to mind. A chance to peer into that topsy turvy brain of yours. A chance to challenge yourself, relax, and maybe learn a thing or two about yourself. You can write in the comfort of your home, or in one of your favorite cafes. Whatever you do, don’t judge yourself, just write and see what comes out.
by Jason Lam
When you’re giving direction to your models, what you want to do is think “broad strokes.” Meaning, don’t fuss over the little details about where to put their hand or which way to turn their head. Instead. Tell them to sit down. Stand up. Turn to the right. Turn to the left. Give broad strokes. Most times, this is more than enough to get your model to the position you want versus trying to micromanage your way there. Often times, you’ll just end up with a very bad version of them trying to do the robot. Lol.
by Jason Lam
I don’t know if it’s because I’m stupid, or because my mind is just moving so quickly that sometimes I just lose track of things. I like to think it’s because of the latter. Because, well, who likes to think of themselves as stupid. Then again, given the standard in which I view myself, I must admit, in fact, I know for sure, that I am, quite stupid. And that was a rather hard fact to bear growing up. But now, I take it wholeheartedly. The world’s just too vast and there’s just too many things for me to know in order to ever reach the status of being called “smart”. If anything, the only smart people in the world are those who are smart in clearly defined areas. Nobody is smart in the worldly sense of the word. And, well, if this person does exist, I’d like to meet him (or her). But for now, I’ll continue doing what I can with what little I have. Grabbing at thoughts whenever possible. Fleshing them out with words on paper for as long as I remember. And moving my fingers across this keyboard to share it with you. I lose my train of thought quite often, and this post is no exception.
by Jason Lam
There’s a wonderful quote I discovered the other day:
“We should have more confidence in our resilience than our ability to make predictions”
- Alain de Botton
I love that.
How many of you have wasted time sitting and trying to think your way into making the “right” decision? I have. I do it too often.
It doesn’t really work that well. Surprise surprise. And I think that happens because we’re afraid of making the wrong decision.
But I also found another quote recently:
“Sometimes you just have to jump out the window and grow wings on the way down”
- Ray Bradbury
Because I’ve been thinking about how people feel like they must first be 100% ready before they start a new endeavor, take on a new job, ask somebody out on a date, or whatnot.
But I can say with 100% confidence that all things I’ve ever done, I never knew exactly how I was going to do it. Whether it was moving to New York City for the first time, backpacking Europe, or starting my YouTube channel. I never knew how exactly I was going to do any of those things. I had to figure it out along the way.
I think this is very powerful. Perhaps we don’t give ourselves enough credit for our inherent resilience. There’s immense power in simply believing that we’re capable even if we are not fully capable at the moment.
So, have a little more faith in your resilience.
by Jason Lam
This is still a hard lesson for me to learn. Don’t be too precious with your work. Regardless of how big or small it is. A mini personal photo project. Or something as huge as a fully fledged business. The most important thing I've learned as an artist is to accept the difference between what you want something to be, and what it actually is. It’s this discrepancy and the unwillingness to accept something for what it is that causes all the unnecessary friction. I can point to many photo projects of mine that struggled with this. Inside the Lion, Street Dance Project, LINES Ballet Training Program. And most recently, my YouTube channel - Barely Evolved Apes - I’m not even sure what it’s for anymore. To help people? Sure. But then I started making random cooking and travel videos. I’m not even sure anymore. But maybe I just need to keep going, embrace it for what it is and see what happens.
by Jason Lam
I think there’s a misconception that artists, photographers especially, live this glamorous life. I was surely mistaken when I first pursued photography. I thought it was going to be all lights, camera, action! And when I found out otherwise I became mildly depressed. Quit photography for a while and didn’t really know what to do with myself for quite some time. Until I realized that this is normal. This is the real thing. It’s not like what you see in the magazines. The hustle is not glamorous. And when I came to accept the messiness of it all, I came to accept myself. I was turned off when I felt I had to keep this facade of having it all together when I first started off. I don’t really care anymore. I allow myself to be the broken, confused, messy artist that I am. In fact, I like my photos a little messy and imperfect. It’s more of who I am. And I like being me.
by Jason Lam
I didn’t learn to be myself out of choice. I learned to be myself because I failed to be like everybody else. Like most people, I used to try to be like someone else for the sake of making friends and getting jobs, but none of that worked. So I had no choice but to say, “Fuck it”. I had nothing to lose anyway. I was already living at home with my parents, saving no money, having no income and the list goes on and on, it’s so damn embarrassing I would never wish it upon my worst enemy. But I guess it was all for a reason? I really don’t know. But that’s how I learned to be myself. To write the way that I do. To dance the way that I do. To take pictures the way that I do. Because I actually tried really damn hard for a really long time to not be myself and it just didn’t work. Who knows. Maybe this was life’s way of pushing me where I need to go instead of where I thought I wanted to go. Thank you, life. I guess.
by Jason Lam
The sleepless nights. The long weekends. The moments where you feel like no matter how hard you try, your work just seems to fall flat? The low pay. The failed negotiations. The inability to answer the question “So what do you do?”
Is it worth it?
—
Maybe
You get the freedom, flexibility to do what you want when you want, but you also lose the security. The stable income. The ability to talk to your friends about more or less the same things and be more or less understood.
Is it worth it?
—
Maybe
On the rare occasions. You get paid a ton of money to be doing what you’d essentially do for free. On other occasions, you don’t get paid enough to do what you absolutely hate. “I didn’t spend a decade of my left perfecting my craft to make this bullshit!” You say to yourself.
Is it worth it?
—
Maybe
Other occasions you just so happen to be in downtown and you see people shuffling up and down the sidewalks with their coffees in hand rushing from here to there and you can’t help but think to yourself, “Glad I’m not that guy,” as you cruise on by at your own leisure. You spend as much time as you want at the park soaking up the sunshine. Life is good. But then you can’t afford to pay rent. Let alone a bowl of ramen.
Is it worth it?
—
Maybe
You have a chance to change the world and if you’re really good, maybe end up in the New York Times or at the MoMa or end up being one of the most important figures of your generation. Who cares if you have to go a couple of nights sleeping on your friend's couch? Who cares if you can’t answer the question “So what do you do?” Who cares if your parents think you’re an utter failure. Who cares? Who fucking cares?!
Is it worth it?
by Jason Lam
There’s no finding out who you are. There’s only letting yourself be who you already are.
I came to this idea with my experiments working under different names. I think I'm just lonely. Barely Evolved Apes. JLam. Whatever it is. I’m still me. I’m still Jason Lam. And nothing’s going to change that. If anything, the different names only help me stay organized. Like how you keep clothes in the closet and eating utensils in the kitchen drawers. It’s all part of the same house. And it’s best not to neglect the house, as it’s the foundation that holds all the separate rooms together. As much as you change and evolve, you can never abandon your home. You’re really just creating a new room or a bigger room in the same house. You can never run too far, and even if you think you do, often you’ve only run back to the beginning.
by Jason Lam
I used to think that writing about productivity and living a better life would indeed, lead to a better life, both professionally, and personally. However, I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t really. If anything, they only serve as reminders (if I ever have the chance to look back at my work) for times when I had moments of clarity and had the discipline to sit and write everything down. But progress? I’m not quite sure. I feel like maybe I’m just a really lazy person who’s trying to get out if his default state like how the fat kid in Willy Wonka tried to get out of the chocolate river (he failed, btw). I’m moving forward. Sure, but at a snail's pace. And often times, I’m also moving backward. Instead of a straight line, I feel like I’m just zigzagging most of the time, running in circles, spinning my wheels. But at the same time, maybe that’s what progress is. Knowing that I’m in fact, not making much progress…? Who knows.
by Jason Lam
I think that’s a myth. Quit your day job and travel the world for the rest of your life. It sounds great. But I think it preys on those who are dissatisfied with their jobs and tricks people into thinking that a life abroad is always better. Aka the grass is greener on the other side. I don’t think it is better. Nor do I think it’s greener. I think what people want is not to travel indefinitely and go to every country in the world. I think what people want is to know that if they wanted to travel abroad, they could. It would be within their realm of possibility. I think what people want is to know that it is within their power to live a life that brings them joy, not necessarily escaping overseas to a so-called “better life”.
World travel is not the answer to all of life's problems.
by Jason Lam
Inspired by the text playlist I made a while back, I wanted to create a video playlist to serve exactly the same purpose: Get me pumped to keep creating and remind me of what matters in life.
If you're not in the mood for reading, this playlist might give you the necessary inspiration you need for your next endeavor.
Videos are intentionally curated for their short duration. #1 and #6 are kind of long though. Enjoy!
1) Alain de Botton on Status Anxiety - Alain is one of my favorite philosophers. He takes knowledge from the greats and delivers his material in a way that is both easy to understand and relatable for modern day people like me. I'd be lying if I said I never felt status anxiety. This video makes be feel a bit better, and helps me understand why this is so prominent in our day and age.
2) First Follower: Leadership Lessons from Dancing Guy - I love this video so much. It's a video of a guy dancing all by himself, and before long, it becomes a giant party with tons of people joining in! I create many projects, often by myself, and the road gets lonely, often to the point where I just keep thinking about quitting. But like this dancing guy, maybe I need to believe in myself a little more, and in other as well.
3) Everyone Is Lonely - We're all alone here, so maybe try to just be nice.
4) Cookie Monster, Life Coach - HILARIOUS! I love this. SO MUCH. Educational and funny at the same time. It always makes me want to eat cookies and milk though, haha.
5) Robert De Niro NYU Graduation Speech - In terms of graduation speeches, most people usually share the one by Steve Jobs or Jim Carey, but I think it's worthwhile to share one that's a little less popular, but just as good. I love Robert De Niro. I also went to film school, so maybe I'm biased. Sometimes I feel like I'm still just a recent college grad, positively blind to the challenges ahead of me. Blurbs: "Passion trumps reason" and "Rejection is often not about you". (Feel free to skip if you're not into the arts)
6) The Power Of Time Off - I'm slow. I work slowly. Talk slowly. And require a lot of time off to think clearly about how to approach my work. I love the fact that Tedx managed to promote a video about NOT WORKING in a world that demands that we work faster than ever. I think time off is powerful and essential to our lives, I'm glad Stefan thinks so too.
7) Tired of Your Bullshit - Nothing like a good rant to get you off you ass and getting to work. And who better than the suave Tyrese who sang all the baby making love songs of the 90s?
8) Secrets of Life - "Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you"
9) Ira Glass on the Creative Process - Any creative endeavor is rot with tons of obstacles. In moments like these, it's hard to stay motivated. Most of us quit. But Ira Glass reminds us that this is normal. Don't quit. Keep fighting.
10) Choice - "Realize that you can't make a mistake, whatever you do."
by Jason Lam
I’ve tried to come up with a distinct photography style for a long time.
I’m 10 years deep now and I’m pretty much giving up on that endeavor.
Why?
Because it’s one of the most crippling things you can do to your creative growth.
Trying to define your “style” is like saying to yourself, "From now on, I will only eat oatmeal for breakfast!" Or, "I will only wear blue jeans for the rest of eternity!"
Really?
What benefit does this have for you?
And I was actually really good at answering this question:
So people know what I stand for!
So people aren’t confused when they look at my website!
So it will be easier for potential clients to know exactly what I do!
And that’s great. Especially if you make a hit, like Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 smash hit, "Dreams". Then, by all means, keep playing that song for the rest of your life. After all, it will help keep the lights on at the studio.
But there’s a difference between marketing yourself as one thing and cornering yourself into just one style for the rest of eternity.
I’m talking about the latter.
I actually think it’s a great idea to market yourself as one thing. After all, in a world that is getting busier and faster and with people’s attention spans being less than that of a goldfish, you better have your hook strong and easy to see otherwise you will be skipped over for someone who does have an easily identifiable style
Some of my favorite artists who have a unique style:
Do these people not do other styles? I doubt it. They probably just don’t show it. After all, you don’t want to confuse your potential clients, right?
I think style eventually presents itself to you. It’s not something you need to force yourself into. It will come. A bit like walking in the sand. You might feel like you’re just walking aimlessly in a vast desert, but if you look back you’ll see that there is, in fact, a path that you’ve created that is unique to you and only you.
Trying to define your style prematurely leads to artistic death. It’s deciding you will only crawl, when you can walk, deciding you will only walk when you can run, deciding you will only run, when you can fly.
I’ve made this mistake more times than I’d like. It’s limiting. It’s also very boring. Can you imagine doing the same thing forever and ever? If you take a look at Picasso’s work, you can see that he changed so much.
But anyways, let’s talk about why we really care about finding a “style.”
Money.
Ohhhh money. Well, also, branding. Clear branding, which will lead to clients understanding what you do which will lead to money.
Not knocking it. But I think it’s important to consider the tradeoffs. Because that’s what it is, you're selling a specific style in an exchange for money. Is it worth your creative death for money? Maybe sometimes. But for all of eternity? No. Don’t do it.
What to do?
Meet halfway.
If you hit a style you like, a hit song if you will. Keep it. Sell it. Keep the lights on. Keep the food on the table. Make sure you can shower every night. But secretly on your own time, keep on trucking. Keep growing. Keep exploring. There's a term in finance called diversifying your assets. I guess creatively speaking. We can call this diversifying your creativity.
That’s what I’m doing nowadays. I hope it works for you too.
by Jason Lam
SEO is the first thing that will kill your writing endeavors. It will morph your writing, your titles, your word choice into the latest trends and absolutely rid your work of any soul. And that’s what makes your work unique. Your soul. Your voice. Sprinkling in keywords and the latest trends of using clickbait titles is a cheap move. You don’t need that.
Having spent far too much time on SEO and all that nonsense I can attest that the best way to spread your work is not to apply all those internet gimmicks, but instead, to simply do great work that is worth sharing. It’s hard. In fact, it’s much harder than, say, googling the latest buzzwords and plugging them into your essay. But it’s important. Better yet, it will stand the test of time. At least, that’s what I’m working towards. Not work that comes and goes with the latest trends but work that can provide wisdom for generations to come.
Forget about SEO. Just focus and creating damn good work.
by Jason Lam
I don’t know about you. But all this self-help, personal development, productivity stuff is sort of tiring me out.
I just feel like I am never enough. No matter how much I fine tune my morning routine, how many more yoga sessions I take, and how many times I tell myself to love myself, I still feel like I’m standing still and the world is whizzing right by me.
Does anybody else feel that way?
In moments like these, I like to think of some of my idols. J. R. R. Tolkien, Einstein, Hitchcock. The thing is, I really doubt they read that many self-help books, and even if they did, they didn’t read nearly as much as I have, simply because of the fact that they didn’t exist.
So what did they do instead? Were they less equipped to handle the world they lived in? Did they do lower quality work? Were they less as human beings?
I don’t think so.
And I also don’t think we really need to read, yet, another self-help book, or do another yoga meditation session, or a juice cleanse.
If anything, all of these things are just a way of distracting ourselves from the fact that the world is moving faster than ever, it bothers the hell out of us, and the only thing we can do about it is to sort of make ourselves feel slightly better by reading a book about how everything is going to be okay, and yadda yadda yadda.
I know I sound paradoxical right now. After all, much of what I write falls right under the personal development category. But I’m not knocking it. I’m just trying to put things in perspective, mainly for myself, I’m human after all. Not everything I say will make sense (unfortunately) or, rather, fortunately. (Thanks, Lewis Carroll)
So what do we do?
I'd do what I think J. R. R. Tolkien, Einstein, or Hitchcock would do. And that is not to read another self-help book, not to listen to another motivational talk. Instead, to go for a walk in the woods. Spend a quiet morning writing in our journal. Enjoy a nice cup of hot tea and stare aimlessly out the window. Taking solace in the fact that nothing will ever truly go your way, and finding comfort in the fact that that's still okay.
by Jason Lam
