WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP ALL YOUR DREAMS IN PLAY

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been feeling like I have to be more selective with the things I want to do and stopping myself from following my impulses. When I was younger, I had no inhibitions about uploading silly videos of myself onto the internet for the sake of sharing it with my friends and having a good laugh. Now? I have to consider all these things like, OMG, it’s going to be on the internet forever. How will this affect my professional career? Does it align with my current brand image? How will everybody think of me? Everybody’s going to judge me! And so what happens? I don’t let myself make spur-of-the-moment videos. I don’t let myself follow my intuition. I don’t let myself have any fun. But it’s all for a greater cause I say to myself. Because by not wasting time and energy on the inessential, I get to focus all my energy on one goal and be that much more effective.

This is a rather widely accepted notion. Famous quotes like, “Jack of all trades, master of none” seems to run quite rampant in the motivational quotes arena, but I think there is something missing here. There's this idea that it’s bad to have multiple interests. Because someone is a jack-of-all-trades and master of none, we make the false assumption that this is all he will ever be. We neglect the fact that this is precisely the path one takes when discovering mastery. Some people just take a little longer than others. 

“All knowledge leads to self-knowledge.”
- Bruce Lee 

The more you get to explore, try new things and follow your curiosity, the more you know and the more capable you are of being fully equipped and ready to tackle that one thing in life. But if you pigeonhole yourself too early on, you end up learning less about the world and less about yourself.

Energy has the capability of feeding back into itself, but when you don’t allow yourself to flow, that energy is never used. It is not recycled or redirected toward your ultimate goal; it is simply sitting there, holding you back, and growing stale. 

Solution:

Let it all flow. Keep everything in play. Don’t cut anything out. This is how you live a rich life, and this is how you maintain your momentum, progress, and growth. 

“Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.”
- Albert Einstein 

Your interests, impulses, and intuition manifest themselves in different forms. Energy can feed back into itself, get stronger, and eventually morph into something absolutely beautiful, but not if your energy is blocked.

If you look at how rivers form, they do not start as giant streams. They start as a collection of tiny segments – a master of none, if you may – but if you look closely you will find that these seemingly tiny streams start to build momentum. The flow becomes stronger, bigger, faster, all the way until they naturally find their way together, raging with power and becoming a force to be reckoned with. This is made possible because the individual streams explored other avenues and strengthened on their own. By following through with each individual path, the collective whole of the river is made stronger when they finally join forces. Your interests are not as disconnected as you think.

You need to trust that all your seemingly disconnected interests will lead you to somewhere great. If not, believe that it will at least make you a better person with every step you take. Don’t cut anything out because when you do, you are cutting yourself out.

I make fun little videos, and I do it because I get a lot of joy out of them. I also take design classes, swimming lessons, and even started taking voice lessons recently. They do not align perfectly with who I am as a professional. Some of you might even think it’s a waste of time. I admit that it’s very much a sidetrack to what I’ve become known for – photography. It’s random. It’s unedited. It’s raw. If anything, it’s much closer to the real me.

These seemingly random hobbies feed into each other. It doesn’t take anything away. In fact, it makes me feel more alive. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to learn to trust all the pieces in play and to let my interests take me where it will. I let myself be free. I believe that life has something far greater and brighter planned for me than anything I could ever imagine, but first I have to be open to it, and it starts by allowing myself to take these chances.

Stay curious. Keep looking. Keep changing. And let life flow through you.

by Jason Lam

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD ALL OF THE TIME

I have this unnecessary burden – when I feel like what I’m doing isn’t bettering humanity in some way, I start to stress out. I feel like I’m not good enough and deal with many sleepless nights because of … Well, nothing, really. 

It’s quite stupid when I think about it. You know, stressing over the fact that maybe the words I write aren’t good enough, or the YouTube videos I make aren’t funny enough, or the fact that I am just not a superhero despite my superhero intentions.

If I could, I would free all people from unhealthy relationships, make sure every child grows up with positive role models, and release the shackles of all those who slave their entire lives away in these obnoxious things we call cubicles. But I can’t. And it stresses me out because I can see the fatigue and loneliness in the faces of my peers. It pains me that I can only do a little, but maybe I need to relax.

I watched Deadpool a couple months back (awesome movie). I was enlightened by the ending, when Deadpool finally has his archenemy, Ajax, in his hands and is ready to kill him for all of eternity … Until Colossus steps in with an incredibly insightful speech.

“Four or five moments. That’s all it takes to be a hero. Everybody thinks it’s a full-time job. Wake up a hero. Brush your teeth a hero. Go to work a hero. Not true.”

That struck a chord in me because I felt like I had to be good all the time. I felt like I had to do good all the time. I felt all these feelings of good intention, only to hate myself because I realize how much of a flawed human being I really am and, unfortunately, will probably always be. 

But I realize there’s nothing wrong with that.

And when I accept how I will never be the superhero I’ve always wanted to be, I finally get to be free and do simple things like go about the day not saving the world and not feel bad about it.

Because superheroes don’t have to be good, all of the time.

In fact, I’ve come to believe that this makes for a better superhero. One that allows an individual to give into one’s inherent vices every once in a while for the sake of doing better when he needs to. It’s a part of my journey that my inner perfectionist left out of the final screenplay of life, but I’ve now penciled it back in.

I stopped being so hard on myself. 

Nowadays, when I wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror, I say to myself, “Relax, you don’t have to save the world… all of the time.”

by Jason Lam

THE GOOD LIFE

I’ve come to believe that the good life is simply needing these few things:

• Sunsets

• Hall and Oates

• Boba

• Good food

• Good company

• A sense of humor

• And sleeping in

I tend to get a bit too cerebral about everything in life sometimes, but earlier today I was drinking boba, driving down Highway 1, and looking out at the sunset with Hall and Oates blasting through the stereo. It was such great fun. 

I think when we have happy moments we need to make the extra effort to note it down and try to return back to it as often as possible. They’re like little hints from the world of how simple life can be, and how great it can be all the same. 

This is my little note for “the good life”.

by Jason Lam

INSECURITIES AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEM

The thing about insecurities is that we don’t ever grow up thinking there’s anything wrong with us. It’s not like we come out of the womb, look at ourselves in the mirror and then make a checklist of, “Things I should spend the rest of my life worrying about.” 

No. Insecurities are placed on us by other people and always without our consent. I, for example, never thought of myself as skinny, slow, or stupid. These were all things others have told me. But oddly enough, when harmful comments are repeated enough times, we somehow make them come true. There’s a false train of logic that says, “So and so has told me these things before, so they must be right.” We neglect the fact that we’ve also come across tons of other people who have never mentioned these aforementioned insecurities. I guess it’s easier to notice when people hurt us than to remember when someone simply accepts you for who you are. 

These things happen at such a young age before we’ve had an opportunity to build up our mental defenses. We were vulnerable. And as we grow older, it’s almost as if these insecurities become embedded in our DNA. It becomes a part of our lives, like a checklist of things to do whenever we wake up in the morning. Take a shower, brush our teeth, worry about insecurities, overcompensate, and pray that nobody says anything about it. And when we try to deal with our insecurities, it gets even harder. It’s like trying to peel off an old sticker, only to find that it’s near impossible to do so without leaving some residue. No, Goo Gone doesn’t work on our emotions. 

It sucks. There are days when my insecurities still manage to creep up past my defenses and make me feel absolutely pathetic. I guess we just have to deal with it. But that’s a little too somber for my tastes. If there’s anything we can do, it is to remind ourselves how silly it is to live in fear of who we are due to how other people see us. It’s such a waste of time. Instead, keep your head up high and keep marching forward regardless of the naysayers. If there’s anything to fear, it’s to fear allowing such meaningless comments become permanent excuses for why we are not living a life that is true to our authentic selves. Do not die with your song unsung.

by Jason Lam

ON PHOTOGRAPHIC STYLE

When it comes to style, one should remember this piece of advice by Persian poet, Rumi:

“Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

Executing a multitude of styles isn’t difficult. And now, with the internet and the ability to learn a new photographic technique with just a click of a button, being able to do multiple styles doesn’t differentiate you. It just makes you look unsure of yourself. And when you are unsure of yourself, others will be unsure of you. 

Think of style as a friend. We want friends who are consistent. Why? Because consistency means reliability. However, if you’re constantly switching around, then you become unpredictable. You’re here one day, but you’re gone the next. We never know where to find you. We never know what to expect. We can’t trust you. Nobody wants a friend like that.

If we take a look back at the greatest photographers of all time, you’d be hard-pressed to find one who constantly changed his or her style. Daido Moriyama is known for his stark black and whites. William Eggleston for his color. Bruce Gilden for his flash. Salgado for his epic landscapes.

What do people think of when your name is mentioned?

Maintaining a consistent style goes way beyond talent and skill. It’s about integrity. It’s about staying true to whom you are, believing in what you represent, and proudly showing up day after day and doing the work regardless of what others say. 

Granted, as we grow as photographers, it is only natural that our styles will change. That’s normal, but eventually, you’re going to have to make a decision and commit. This is not to say that you are incapable of doing more, or that you are any less of a human being because you choose to do less – it’s about standing for something you believe in, which, first and foremost, should always start with yourself. When you do so, you will find that others start to believe in you. 

It’s not about doing more, nor is it about doing less; it’s simply about doing what is uniquely you.

by Jason Lam

THE JUST DO SOMETHING APPROACH

Forget passion.

Just do something, and you will find passion along the way.

Passion does not have to be a prerequisite for taking action.

I can't say I was passionate about photography when I first started. I was just curious, and then I grew passionate about it later on.

One thing I've learned is the better you get at something, the more passionate you'll become.

Stop searching, and just do something.

by Jason Lam

10 MORE ALTERNATIVES TO FINDING YOUR “PASSION”

I still don’t like the word “passion.” I still think it’s a loaded word, but everybody still seems bent on finding it, so here we go:

1) What conversations do you enjoy having? The types of conversations we want to have determine the types of friends we make, the work we do, and ultimately, the person we become and the contribution we make to the world. I particularly enjoy having conversations about why people do the things they do and how a greater understanding of the self can lead to a better life. 

2) If you were stuck on Mars with 30 days left of food, what would you say to everyone? Funny how a life or death situation can remind ourselves what truly matters. What would you say? And how could you apply what you are saying to your own life?

3) What topic could you read 1,000 books on? Take a look at your bookshelf. Are there any reoccurring subjects? Maybe you’ve already read 1,000 books on a certain topic without even knowing it. What topics do you find yourself returning to and wanting to learn more about?

4) What’s the overarching theme between all the things you’ve been doing and all the goals you’ve been making? Take out a piece of paper. Write it down. Create a map. How does it all link back up to each other? If you look back far enough, perhaps you’ll find that everything all connects to one overarching goal.

5) What would you regret not pursuing when laying on your deathbed? I know. A little hard to imagine. This question is even a little borderline cliché but only because it’s very helpful. What would you regret? Maybe that’s precisely what you need to do.

6) What do you want your future self to look like? Take 10 minutes to fantasize what a day in your perfect life would look like. Start in the morning, and describe everything you do in detail from the moment you wake up. Where are you? Who are you with? How are you spending your day? Now, read over what you wrote. How does this future self differ from who you are now? What can you do today so this future self can one day become your present self?

7) What would you do for free? You may find that you’re already doing what you’re passionate about without even noticing it. This often happens because some of us might think that passion must be a burning desire you feel when you wake up every morning. It doesn’t have to be. It can just be something you enjoy without even getting paid for it. Maybe you really like baking, offering words of advice to friends in need, or telling stories. So ask yourself, are you already doing it?

8) What work were you doing the last time you forgot time altogether? In psychology, there is a term called “Flow.” Or in other words, “being in the zone;” a state of complete absorption in an activity where time flies. Right off the top of my head, it’s when I’m writing, performing and teaching. How about you?

9) How do you want to feel when you wake up in the morning? Much of how we feel in the present is determined by what we have in store for the future. What do you look forward to? What do you want to look forward to?

10) What do you miss? As we grow older, there are more and more things we let go of for the purpose of becoming an “adult.” Sometimes, this type of thinking forces us to let go of things we otherwise would have very much wanted to hold onto. I miss high school band. I miss playing music. I miss being part of a team. I miss the camaraderie. I miss having a coach. And I’ll share a secret, when I was a kid, my dream was to be a rock star.

If it makes you feel any better, whatever you’re searching for is also searching for you. Sometimes you just need to open yourself up to the things that are already trying to find a way into your life.

by Jason Lam 

START BY STOPPING

You got problems. 

So do I.

And when we have problems wearing and tearing away at our lives, we may feel that we must add yet another layer of complexity to our lives. Another dietary supplement. Another workout regime. Another session with a therapist. But there’s no need for that.

Just stop what you’re doing.

Stop the self-deprecation. Stop the addictive habits. Stop repeating the same old mistakes. Stop “should-ing” all over yourself. Just stop.

When you realize you are on the wrong path, the only way to make any more progress is to stop.

Stopping is the gateway to changing. 

When you stop, you end the process of deterioration and allow yourself to begin the process of healing.

I’ve been guilty of over-complicating my life as well. I’ve been going through physical rehab, working with a personal trainer and a chiropractor, asking a million questions, overthinking how the hundreds of muscles in my body should be working and not making any progress aside from just tiring myself out, losing sleep, and just becoming a very negative, down and dejected person. This lasted for 5 years. I had to stop.

We don’t begin to solve the many problems in our lives by adding more things to our “to-do” list. We begin by stopping, by saying no to habits that do not serve us, even if that means doing absolutely nothing.

Stop. 

Do nothing. But notice that you are still doing something. While it may not seem that way, it is a step toward changing your life for the better. When you stop what you’re doing, you are ending negative habits, ending negative cycles, and instead creating a resting space for your life.

Oftentimes we don’t know what got us here. We’re no longer sure what will satisfy us or what we are looking for. So we think by increasing the number of unnecessary possessions, burying ourselves both physically and mentally in more things will help, but most of the time these extra things just serve to throw us into further disarray. The best way to find out what we really need sometimes is to get rid of what we don’t. 

Start by stopping.

Action Step: 

Do an inventory check of your life and the things you’ve been doing, thinking about, or stressing over. Then ask yourself, “Does this contribute to my overall happiness? Or would I be better off by stopping what I’m doing?” Start throwing things out like you would an old sweater that is way past its time.

by Jason Lam

HOW TO WRITE WELL - PART 2

1) Research later. I’ve noticed in my attempts to write well, I would sometimes let my research get in the way of my actual writing. For example, I would come to a point where I don’t know enough about an example or analogy I want to use and stop everything to research for way too long. This often leads me to a point where I don’t even remember what I was even writing about. When writing, don’t worry too much about factual accuracy, just get it out there and keep moving. Focus on fixing the little bumps and grooves later, otherwise, you risk never even finishing your first draft.

2) Good writing is rewriting. This is not to say you need to overhaul your initial draft. I’ve noticed a complete overhaul often eliminates the original raw integrity most 1st drafts have to start with. Think of rewriting as a trimming your garden. Take out the fluff. Leave the essentials.

3) Show up. Keep on writing. Even though it may feel as if you’re writing complete garbage, it’s probably not as bad as you think. If anything, getting through the garbage is what’s required to get to the goodies in the first place. But you won’t know if you don’t show up.

4) Write for just one person. In my attempts to be as helpful as possible, I’ve tried to turn my writing into something that everybody can identify with, which not only weakens my work, it’s impossible. Sorry. Some people will just have to be left out. You’re not any worse of a writer or a person. It’s a simple understanding that watering everything down to the lowest common denominator leads to ineffective and mediocre work.

5) Don’t be afraid to abandon bad work. Sometimes your stuff really is crap. You may spend days and days on a piece and still can’t get it right. In fact, you might have rewritten it so many times to the point where it’s lost any element that appealed to why you wanted to write it in the first place. Sometimes success is knowing when to quit.

6) Creating and critiquing are two totally separate activities. Creating is letting your heart spill onto the page. And yes. It’s supposed to be messy. Critiquing is the slow process of combing the sand. Picking out little things and deciding if you want to either keep, improve, or throw it out completely. They both serve a very important function, but they work best when done separately. Don’t mix the two. 

7) Take a break. Go out and enjoy the sunshine every once in while. As writers, we can easily turn into hermits and not go out for days on end, but eventually you’ll run out of things to write about! It’s essential that you set time aside to live your life. Consider it a chance for you to recharge your batteries and gain inspiration. In fact, most of my ideas come when I’m out for a run or folding laundry.

8) Done is better than perfect. As a writer, your goal is to make sure you’re putting out content that is beneficial to your readers. Don’t let the fact that your grammar, syntax, or diction is less than perfect prevent you from spreading good ideas. Remember, you’re not writing for your teachers anymore.

9) Finish your pieces as soon as possible. Don’t let anything sit for too long because they will grow stale and at worst, become neglected and unfinished. I admit I have many pieces that will never see the light of day because I left them alone for way too long. The moment you start a piece is when you should try your best to finish it, even if it’s an ugly first draft.

10) Be part of the solution. We’re all a little incomplete and broken in our own way. Try your best to benefit your readers with every word you write. Whether it’s an inspiring story that calls them to action or simply poking fun at the absurdities of life, strive to add to the human experience. Language is powerful. Your words make a difference.

by Jason Lam

THE TEXT PLAYLIST

Frank Chimero creates what he calls a text playlist. It’s awesome. Inspired by him, I would like to create my own text playlist. It's purpose: Get me pumped and remind me what really matters in life.

1. Obedient - Shel Silverstein - One of my favorite photography teachers, Greg Miller, read this poem to us during our last day of class when I was studying at the International Center of Photography in New York City. It’s a great poem that serves as a reminder to really go out and do the things that bring you joy. I’ve had it taped on my bedroom wall for the past 2 years.
   

2. Two Questions - Lynda Barry - As an artist, it can be very easy to fall into the vicious cycle of thinking everything you do sucks, so much to the point where you consider quitting your art altogether. This comic reminds us to withstand the inevitable state of never quite knowing if what you're doing is good, but to keep going anyway.
   

3. I Am Better Than I Used To Be – John Wooden - I went to UCLA, so this has particular resonance with me. It’s an excerpt from his book which I recommend everyone to read.
   

4. You Are Not Too Old – Gary Wu - There are so many things I would like to achieve in this lifetime. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have enough time in a day to do it all. Or worst, I’m too old. This piece reminds me that there’s still time.
   

5. Am I Making The Right Decision? – Jason Lam - It feels weird to be putting myself on this playlist but only because oddly enough, I often forget the lessons I share. I’m not perfect. This one reminds me to stay true to myself, which at the end of the day, should be the ultimate criteria.
   

6. Most Questions Can Be Boiled Down – Austin Kleon - Short and sweet. Key Takeaway: One day you’ll be dead.
   

7. Just Work Hard, It's Not Hard Work - Bobby Hundreds - I've been inspired by Bobby for a long time now. He's an illustrator, photographer, writer, director, business owner, and more. He does everything, and he does everything well. This post is a great reminder of what it takes to get to where we want to be. "The hard work is the trophy"
   

8. Ithaca - C.P. Cavafy - I love this poem. If I'm ever frustrated with my progress I make sure I read this several times out loud. I get too focused on arriving sometimes. This poem helps me appreciate the journey a little more.
   

9. I Can't Write Real Good - Casey Neistat - Not knowing how to do something is hardly a reason not to do it.
   

10. Sour, Doughy, Raw, and Numb - Rumi - A great poem about embracing the... well, you can read it and come up with your own interpretations.

by Jason Lam

SPARK JOY: HOW MARIE KONDO CHANGED MY LIFE

I don’t know Marie Kondo, but she changed my life. 

For those of you who don’t know, Marie Kondo is the author of, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.” It’s a book about tidying up your living space, but little did I know, it would lead to a clear sense of self and my purpose in life.

How it works:

Discard anything that doesn’t spark joy.

Spark Joy = Basically boils down to whether or not something contributes to making you feel good.

If you feel nothing, or even worse, negative feelings, then you throw it away.

The process took a while, but I forced myself to dedicate an entire month to it and do it all in one go. She has a step-by-step process that goes a little bit like this:

-    Clothes
-    Books
-    Papers
-    Miscellaneous items (CDs, electrical equipment, stationary)
-    Sentimental items

Clothes were easy, I only wear a couple pairs of pants, shirts, and maybe two jackets. Everything else has just been collecting dust in my closet. Sadly, some of them still had their tags on them. I took out several garbage bags of old clothes and sold them to second-hand shops and donated the rest to Goodwill. 

I did the same for my books.

The money I made from selling the used items were funneled back into tidying up my room. Fortunately, with her system, I didn’t have to spend much, as she encourages working with what you have.

I made my way slowly down the list throughout the month and eventually got to a point where I was stuck. My bedroom was empty at this point and I spent about two weeks in limbo trying to figure out what to do with the remainders. The main question = To keep? Or not to keep? Most of these things were old notebooks, pictures, and other sentimental items that were harder to let go.

Marie says to hold every item in your hands and notice how you feel with each item. If it doesn’t provide good feelings then perhaps it is time to let it go. This even applies to things that once made you feel good, but not anymore. 

I kept the book on my couch the entire month, referring back to it several times throughout the process. What really helped me was the idea that many items in our lives may have already served its purpose, and if they have done so, then we must have the courage to let it go. Not only does this apply to the physical objects we keep, but it also applies to the relationships we sustain throughout a lifetime. We don’t have to hold onto all the things that come into our lives forever.

Realizing this, things picked up again and I was able to tidy everything up by the end of the month. What helped was finding items that I really loved. It’s easy once you feel that surge of happiness, because then you have a reference point of “joy” you can work off of. I discarded old gifts, postcards, pictures from the past, holding onto only a few items that really made me feel good… things I loved: My very first trophy when I played soccer as a little kid, foreign currency I have left over from my travels, and a handful of my favorite books.

As stated in the book, what I discovered is when you begin to tidy up, and free yourself of clutter, you begin to get a clear look at yourself. It was a bit daunting, because you clean up your living space expecting to feel 10x better after it’s all said and done, but there’s still a part of you that feels a bit cluttered, a part of you that still needs a little bit of tidying up… and you realize that it’s no longer about the space, it’s just about you.

For me it was an issue of being too much of a perfectionist. The two week limbo period made sense. I couldn’t figure out a way to put everything so my room would be perfect. It symbolized my life; and the detrimental effects of having unrealistic standards and being too hard on myself. It became a lesson in allowing my life to be a little bit messy, and to be okay with that. Funny how cleaning one’s room can help you make these personal discoveries.

The most powerful part of going through this process was not just having a tidier room, but noticing the things I missed. During the tidying process, I completely emptied my room. What was once a reflection of who I was suddenly became a blank canvas. And with that, I started noticing the things I wanted to bring back into my living space… back into my life. Reading. Writing. Photography. This blog. I wanted it back, and like a shining light at the end of the tunnel it all became so clear what it is that I must do. It’s simple really. Just keep pursuing the things that interest you and eventually you will have an entire life that sparks joy. My room is a reflection of that now, surrounded only by the things that I love, absent of the things that no longer serve me, and open space for the person that I am growing into.

If you have been going through some difficulties in your life, as odd as it may sound, perhaps tidying up your living space could be of help.

Thank you, Marie Kondo.

by Jason Lam

A BETTER WAY TO STAY IN TOUCH

Staying in touch can be difficult. Sometimes we want to reach out those we rarely speak to but care deeply about beyond typical holidays like Christmas and birthdays. But how do you do that without appearing a little cheesy? Random? Weird? Or at worst, sounding like you want to get something out of them when you really just wanted to say hi and let them know you’re thinking of them?

Solution:

Send something useful.

This could be an interesting article, a unique object, a cool event, a fun fact, or a picture that you know the receiver will appreciate.

Why This Works:

Utility. A look at anyone’s everyday life will present a universal pattern. We all want to be happy, but it’s not that simple. Sending along a useful tidbit of anything that helps them ease pain, solve problems and live better is always greatly appreciated.

Clarity. When you reach out to someone you don’t normally keep in touch with, they’ll be met with a bunch of questions: Why are you calling me? Why now? What do you want? It’s confusing. People don’t like that. Avoid the uncertainty and get straight to your point. Thought you’d find this interesting + thinking of you + P.S. don’t forget me!

Appreciation. Sending an item you know they like is an indirect way of saying I like you just the way you are. This will make you stand out in a world where we’re constantly made to feel less of ourselves due to the things we lack or the way we look. By sending something that aligns with their interests, you encourage them to continue being who they are and to keep kicking ass. Who wouldn’t want that?

Special. We’re individuals of self-interest. We’re constantly asking ourselves, “What’s in it for me?” And if we can’t find an immediate answer, we’d rather focus our attention on something else. Sure, you’re the one who wants to reach out to your loved ones, but don’t make it about you, make it about them. When you shine the spotlight on others, the spotlight shines back at you.

I read a lot, I also love checking out local events and exploring the city. Whenever I come across something that makes me think of someone, I send it to them immediately. No expectations. No second thoughts. It’s become a habit of mine and it’s a nice and easy way of keeping in touch.

A few examples:

• My brother loves video games, so I sent him this website with all the original Nintendo games

• My friend Zach loves cycling, so I sent him this cool video of an invisible helmet

• My boss Laurent was trying to come up with a name for his new company, so I sent him this naming book

Recently, I created a monthly newsletter I send out to my friends just to tell them what I’ve been up to and to share a few things I think they’d find interesting. You’re welcome to join the newsletter at the sidebar on the right.

Next time you reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to for a long time, take an extra second to come up with a little extra something you know they’d appreciate. When you do so, you position yourself as someone who adds value, and you’ll be delighted to find that your kindness will encourage others to keep in touch with you as well.

In short, give and expect nothing in return.

by Jason Lam

HOW TO BE A BETTER TEACHER

I absolutely love learning. I’m a self-proclaimed student of life, and if I could, I would be in school forever learning seemingly random things such as Greek mythology, interior design, acting, and even massage therapy. I’m a bit of a hoarder, though I like to consider myself a collector of rare items – rare knowledge, if you will. 

Unfortunately, I’ve also had many bad learning experiences that discouraged me from pursuing a topic any further. I’m not alone. I’ve noticed many people decide not to learn certain things not because there’s a lack of interest, but because the subject wasn’t taught in the right way. That’s sad. Too often, potentially life-changing ideas are left to die because no one found a way to teach it properly. 

Bad teaching is not a reflection of bad content. It is simply bad teaching.

In an attempt to prevent the further inhibition of spreading good ideas due to bad teaching, here are 10 tips teachers can utilize immediately to help us all learn a little more and live a little better:

1) Care. If you don’t care. Your students won’t care. In fact, if you don’t care, you might as well be doing something else because we can smell your lack of enthusiasm from a mile away. And it stinks. Care about the content you are providing. Care about whether or not your students are actually benefiting from your class. Care about us. At the very least, try to remember our names.

2) Teaching a class is like putting on a show. The classroom is your stage. Keep us captivated. Utilize your body, language, and speech for maximum engagement. Your mission impossible is to make sure your students are absorbing the content you provide, and you must take advantage of the tools available to make sure that happens. Like a great script, often times this involves keeping up the pace, deleting the unessential, and having some fun.

3) Inactive bodies = Inactive brains. Move around. Make us get off our seats or else we’ll fall asleep. Yes, you too. No lecterns allowed. Movement provides variety, prevents monotony, and sustains attention. Tracking movement is also a fundamental human characteristic we utilized back in the caveman days to identify the difference between a harmless tree and a lion out to kill us. Simply put, we’re really good at it. Use this to your advantage to maintain attention through movement and keep your class moving. Literally.

4) Show us who you are. Show us your fears and aspirations. Show us you’re human, too. As a teacher, you may be compelled to appear flawless, but if you have the courage to admit that you are not perfect and that bad things may still happen, you will create a level of honesty that will reflect back in your students. I once had a teacher who admitted to once being a heroin addict living out of his taxicab. Damn. As a student, what else can I do but to return that level of honesty? Be honest. An immense pressure will be lifted off your shoulders, and your students will become more receptive.

5) Share your point of view. Don’t just be the bearer of information. My most exciting times as a student were when a teacher went on a rant. Why? Because I knew for damn sure that he wasn’t just regurgitating the textbook. It was the textbook, and then some. Give us your interpretations. 90 percent of everything you teach can be found on the Internet in less than a second. How can you add any value to that? Your class should be appealing not just because of the topic it covers, but because YOU are teaching. 

6) Let us make mistakes. Mistakes are opportunities for teachers to pass on valuable information. When we make mistakes, it is your opportunity to explain how this problem came to be, and how to avoid it in the future. Since this is a problem we encountered ourselves, we will be more motivated to understand both the problem and the solution. Some teachers provide too much information in attempts to avoid as many mistakes as possible, but as a result, everything just flies over our heads. By embracing mistakes, teachers allow students to make their own discoveries. Your goal as a teacher is not to prevent mistakes from happening, it is to allow your students to understand their topic as much as possible, and mistakes are a great tool in doing so. Mistakes are golden.

7) Remind yourself that your students don’t know as much as you. It’s a bit sad, but I’ve encountered teachers who can’t help but to roll their eyes every time a student asks a question. You’re the teacher because your students don’t know as much as you do. It’s as simple as that. Remind yourself of this as often as you can. It keeps you humble. It also keeps you from being an asshole.

8) Take classes. This doesn’t mean you’re any lesser; it means you’re dedicated to a life of constant growth. Taking classes is an opportunity to discover new educational techniques you can use for your own students. Taking on the role of a student can also help you discover things that do not work. For example, the majority of this post is the result of being a frustrated student bored out of my mind. Taking classes reminds you what it’s like to be a student, and the best teachers are those who understand their students the most. In fact, the best teachers are students for life.

9) Students want to feel capable. Sure, there's a time and place for tough love but every once in a while you need to remind your students how well they are doing and despite the fact that they feel like shit, they are in fact improving. Encouragement creates a positive feedback loop, which motivates students to do more and more. The opposite only makes students feel worse, do worse and at the worst, quit entirely. In that case, you’ve failed as a teacher.

10) It’s all an experiment. All people learn differently. What works for some students may not work for others. Teachers have the answers, but it may take several attempts to effectively communicate those answers to your students. Vary your techniques. Find out what makes your students tick and keep at it. To be a teacher is to be willing to dive into the unknown, figure shit out, and get everyone out alive. Sure, you may get a few bumps and bruises along the way, but you also get to share your collection of knowledge that will benefit others for a lifetime.

Being a teacher is one of the noblest things you can do, and if you are a teacher, then I hope you found this useful. Then again, the skills of a good teacher are not and should not be limited to just those who do it for a living; it can benefit all of us. Whether it’s explaining personal finances to a friend, teaching your parents how to use the latest smartphone, or showing your children how to use the stove without burning the house down, everyone can apply the above principles to their life. I truly believe that by improving the way we share our ideas, we could really make the world a better place.

by Jason Lam

HOW TO WRITE WELL - PART 1

1) Stop waiting for permission. You don’t need a degree or certification to call yourself a writer, just start writing. English was my worst subject in high school and college, but that didn’t stop me.

2) Write by hand. While you don’t have to do this all the time, I’ve found the physical act of writing by hand often allows my thoughts to flow better. In comparison with pushing buttons on a computer, writing by hand allows for greater freedom to explore ideas and leads to better content.

3) Read. A lot.

4) Write like you talk. Don’t worry too much about grammar and use the first words that come to mind. Language doesn’t have to be so polished. Like the tools cavemen once used to make fire, your words just need to work. The object of writing is not grammatical perfection; you just need to be getting your message across.

5) Get a second pair of eyes. We’re terrible judges of our own work. Find someone who will challenge you and push you to become a better writer. This person should be someone who knows your limitations and is not afraid to call you out on it (gently, of course). Ideally, this person will also become your teammate and partner in crime who cares about your work just as much as you do.

6) Be honest. This may be a no brainer, but I find that my worst work always stems from a lack of honesty and love. I started writing as a way to express myself and explore ideas and topics I feel were relevant to the human existence. Often times, this involves letting my guard down and allowing myself to be seen, even if it’s a bit ugly at times. When you’re honest, you tell stories only you can tell and share perspectives only you can share. This makes you unique. And for your own sake, do try your best to be honest because you shouldn’t be lying to your readers, and you really shouldn’t be lying to yourself.

7) Find your sweet spot. Everybody has one. This is where you feel most comfortable to be as free and wild as you want with your words. It could be a time of day, a physical location or both, but once you find it, go back there as often as you can. This is your writing sanctuary, the one time and place in the world you know will always accept you for who you are, treat you with kindness, and allow you to be the fully-fledged writer that you are. Find your sweet spot – respect it – and let the words flow.

8) Keep a “Spark File.” This is a Google Doc with all your ideas, notes, phrases, analogies and examples you want to use, along with half ideas that have not fully formed yet. I normally had my ideas scattered all over my room in more notebooks and post-its than I can count. Needless to say, it wasn’t very efficient. Now, all my ideas are neatly organized in one place, and I can access it from anywhere in the world. That said, write your ideas down as soon as they come up, because you will forget them.

9) Find your catalyst. A catalyst is something that sets something in motion. For me, that’s music. I enjoy listening to Chopin, Shigeru Umebayashi, Debussey and the occasional deep house mix. I’m a very visual person, but somehow, whenever I listen to music I see the most vivid movies and stories all playing out in my head. Pair that with some coffee, and I’m good to go.

10) Say something. All good writing has an opinion. Say something that is true to the core of who you are and why you do what you do. The content you produce is simply the extension of your underlying story as to why you are here and what you plan to achieve with your limited time on earth. Ideally, your opinion aims to be part of the solution that adds to our understanding of life. I write as a way to express myself, but ultimately, it is to serve the world and inspire people to live better. Try to be part of the solution. Express your opinion and say something… useful.

by Jason Lam

ON BUILDING OUT YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Today was a special day.

I sang for the very first time in front of an audience.

That’s right; I sang a song, all by myself. 

I’ve been taking voice lessons. It’s something I’ve wanted to do since my teenage years but never got around to because I was scared. I always managed to find an excuse not to go through with it. I noticed fear and staying in your comfort zone makes you really good at that. I also noticed that time doesn’t make your desires go away; it only makes your desires grow stronger, so much to the point where the joy of staying in your comfort zone is no longer worth the pain of not following through. In my case, it took 10 years to get out of my comfort zone and do what I’ve always wanted to do.

“Just because it feels comfortable, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good for you.”

On the same note, just because something is uncomfortable, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad for you.

This bit of knowledge comes from my voice coach, Ellen Robinson, who, despite my limited experience as a singer, I believe is one of the best voice teachers out there. Singing often requires that we reach parts of our voice that may feel a bit uncomfortable. She demonstrated how our normal speaking voice requires rather minimal effort to make a sound and how the ease of regular speaking only covers a limited range of notes. When we sing, we must force ourselves outside of the narrow range we have grown accustomed to and go beyond our comfort zone. It is only by doing so that we can truly tap into the potentials of our voice.

Ellen likens getting out of your comfort zone to building an attic. 

First, you have to make the decision to get up there. And when you’ve done so, start by dusting everything out. Then you need to give the walls a fresh coat of paint and start moving in some furniture. Who knows, maybe you can even put up some window curtains and lay out a few pictures. You’re venturing into foreign territory so it may feel a bit intimidating but that’s why you need to build it out slowly. Then you need to hang out there. 

When you’re getting out of your comfort zone, you’re essentially creating a new space for yourself. It’s going to feel a bit alien the first couple of times. It requires getting over your fears and inhibitions. On a more tactile note, it is a process, often a very slow process. That’s why you need to keep going up there, going through the necessary steps, and work through your discomforts. Remind yourself that just a tiny bit of progress is still progress. You’ll be surprised to find that eventually, you will have created a new space for yourself in a place you never imagined possible. In fact, you might quite enjoy being up there.

How I built my attic:

I came in on the first day only planning to sit in and observe because I was afraid to commit. Little did I know, I ended up participating, loved it so much, and officially enrolled in the class. Each class started by warming up our voices through a series exercises. Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So. Then came the sheet music. Key signatures. Vocal ranges. More music. And suddenly we’re talking about major and minor thirds, key changes, codas, al codas, triplets, and harmonies. This happened for one hour a week. Before I knew it, there I was singing a solo for the first time in front of a real audience, instead of doing it drunk at a karaoke bar. I was actually singing. This was what building my attic was like. Just one hour a week. Imagine what you could do in an entire lifetime.

I sang “How Little We Know” by Frank Sinatra.

Here is my rendition with all its imperfections:

I share this story with you today because I feel that life provides us with a lot of space to really build something beautiful and magnificent. This space comes in the form of time, and if you are staying in your comfort zone out of fear, then I would like to remind you that you don’t have time to waste. Time passes, and you will get older whether you like it or not. You cannot control that, but whether or not you set out to get what you came here for is up to you.

How far will you reach outside your comfort zone? How many extra rooms and attics will you build inside your home? What will you do with these seconds of opportunities that life provides you every day? 

Remind yourself that just because something feels good, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good for you. In order to reach our best selves, we must be willing to trust the process and do things that absolutely terrify us from time to time. Don’t just get out of your comfort zone -- build out your comfort zone. 

by Jason Lam

FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS AND THE MIDNIGHT PISS

Following your dreams is not unlike having to get up out your bed and go take a piss in the middle of the night. You don’t want to do it. It’s hard. You’ve already gotten so cozy in bed, and you want it to last forever. So no matter how badly you need to take a piss, you fight back and hold it in. And it actually works. You hold it all in, but eventually you reach a point where the pain and agony of not taking a piss is no longer worth the joy of staying in your bed. The threshold. So you finally roll your out of bed and go. And as the urine spills out of your body, it feels as if a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. It wasn’t so bad after all, you think to yourself.

The thing is, like following your dreams, you know you’re going to have to go take a piss anyway, so all this time and effort put into delaying the inevitable is just time wasted. And I feel like that’s just how life goes. You grow up with all these dreams and aspirations, but along the way you find yourself a comfortable hole to crawl into. Whether you like it or not, you stay there regardless of your true desires. Perhaps the trick is to never get too comfortable, and by doing so you allow yourself a fighting chance at getting what you came here for.

Luckily for you, your dreams aren’t just waste matter your body needs to get rid of. Your dreams are the good stuff, the nutrients our bodies yearn for and work hard to cling onto. And that’s what you need to do. You need to work hard and hold onto what’s good, not just what’s comfortable. Because if you don’t, you’re essentially flushing yourself down the toilet, and you know what else gets flushed down the toilet? Shit. And you’re not a piece of shit. You’re a fucking super hero that needs to get your lazy ass out of bed and take the midnight piss.

by Jason Lam

WHY BLOGGING IS IMPORTANT FOR YOUR CAREER AND LIFE

Having a blog allows you the opportunity to build credibility and trust. These are the two things that are hardest to prove, yet the most important and often are the deciding factors on whether or not someone wants to work with you.

I’m a photographer, but I also like to write, teach dance and travel the world. That’s already a mouthful, and in an increasingly fast paced world with ever decreasing attention spans, you’re not going to have a lot of time to show just how awesome you are in a matter of seconds.

So you have a blog.

Every time you meet someone, a potential employer, client or even just a new friend, all you need to do is make a good first impression. Make sure you trade contact information and make sure to point him to your blog if he decides you are someone worth developing further relationships with.

Because if you don’t, then you’re just leaving this person to decide whether or not to continue with you based on your one short meeting. While this may be good if you left a positive first impression, you’ve left him nothing to learn more about how awesome you are. And in the case you left a bad first impression, at least your awesome blog may convince him to want to be friends with you.

By having a blog, you essentially have back-up. You have strong work you can stand on for credibility. You have work that you can point to. You are showing that you are a professional, that you know exactly what you’re talking about and in addition to your incredible personality (or lack thereof), you’re capable of producing great compelling work.

Personally speaking, I have wanted to attain a photographer, photo editor, photo art director role for a very long time. I haven’t had the luck, but I know that I increase my chances by having a blog that shows more of who I am and what I’m about. My blog not only showcases my knowledge in photography, it also shows more of my personality. I write about business, psychology, health and travel. My blog shows that not only am I a professional, but I am also a well-rounded individual with strong values and opinions that will play well into any professional role I take on.

Blogging builds credibility.

Blogging builds trust.

Now, you might be wondering… what if someone reads something they don’t like and decides not to work with me? Sure, it sucks that you lost an opportunity, but this is the real you we’re talking about. If a potential employer, client, or partner does not connect with who you are and what you’re about, then you’ve just dodged a bullet. You don’t want to work with them anyway. Sure, perhaps you’ll get more rejections for standing for something and sharing your opinions, but your job is not to make everyone happy. Your job is to create important work that is true to who you are. The right people will find you.

Stay true to yourself.

by Jason Lam

WHAT MAKES A WEIRDO?

Rejection.

Rejection makes a weirdo because every time he tries to come in and join the cool kids, he’s pushed out. Every time he is pushed out, he makes adjustments to better fit in so that next time he is welcomed with open arms. Unfortunately for the weirdo, he is only pushed out again and again. He keeps making adjustments, whether or not those changes make any difference at all is beyond him. He has just come to believe that who he is at that very moment is not enough to be invited into the club. So he tries to get in. Gets pushed out. Tries to get in again. Gets pushed out again.

Here’s the thing, every single time he is pushed out, he is being pushed exponentially further. And the fact of the matter is that trying to get in is a losing game because every passing second that this weirdo spends alone and outside of the group, the group is moving further along, sharing more experiences that further secure their bond, which create a bigger gap between them and the weirdo. And every passing second that he spends alone, he is also encountering experiences that further secure his identity that is unique and special from the group.

Try this enough times and one day, he will have made it once again through the arduous journey of trying to get into this one exclusive group he’s been working toward his entire life only to find that as he raises his fist to knock the door… His hands become weak. He doesn’t want to knock at all. He takes a step back, gets a good look at himself. He realizes he’s created an incredibly unique self in all the time he’s spent trying to be part of this group that never wanted him in the first place.

That’s what makes a weirdo. Someone with his own unique experiences, experiences that you would never understand. And with these experiences are his different ways of looking at the world. And perhaps, you, as the cool kid, never wanted him in the first place because you knew that it would jeopardize the group identity. You were afraid that this exclusive group of yours would come crashing down. The weirdo is the oddball, the odd man out; the weirdo is the one that thinks differently. The weirdo is the one who thinks so differently that by rejecting him enough times, you have given him the gift of venturing on his own journey and becoming his own unrelenting true self.

Because he has no other choice.

What difference would it make to try and change himself again? What difference has it made? None. The weirdo thinks to himself. He’s been rejected his entire life. So much to the point where the pain of trying to fit into the mold of another man is no longer worth the potential joys it may reap. And so he stops. He reaches an epiphany and decides to never turn back and to keep going forward, forging his own path, a path that no one has ever been before.

A weirdo.

If there’s one thing that I’ve noticed among the greats, the revolutionaries, the ones that really make a dent in the universe, is that they themselves were often the oddball. They were the ones that weren’t good enough. The ones that were never meant to amount to anything. But not unlike a butterfly struggling to get out of its cocoon, the weirdo, the rejected, takes this struggle as an opportunity to strengthen itself. So much to the point that one day he could fly.

Albert Einstein, Walt Disney, Thomas Edison, even the Beatles. These people were never meant to make it, but to everyone’s surprise, they rose above and created a legacy of their own. All because they were rejected.

If you’ve been called a weirdo, or a freak, don’t waste your time trying to fit in and be like everyone else. If anything, it’s a blessing in disguise, a struggle that you were meant to surpass in order to allow yourself the opportunity of maturing into the unique individual that you are.

This one’s for the weirdos.

by Jason Lam

HOW DO YOU DEFINE YOURSELF AS A PHOTOGRAPHER?

How do you define yourself as a photographer? If you define yourself in terms of high pixel count, luxury cameras and expensive strobe lights, then you’re dead meat. That’s like if Picasso defined himself by the paintbrushes he used, if Ernest Hemingway defined himself by his typewriter, or if Walt Disney defined himself by the sketchpad he used to create Mickey Mouse. Are tools important? Damn right they are, but they are mere trivialities when it comes to who you are as an artist.

To all the photographers out there, how do you define yourself? Separate from the tools you work with; what is the content with which you fill your blank canvas?

On first thought, you may think to yourself: food, landscapes, portraits, dance, cats and sunsets. You may think that it is the content you photograph that defines you. Sure, but I invite you to dig a little deeper and to ask yourself this question:

What are you saying?

Your answer doesn’t necessarily have to be a statement; it can be a question or even a certain emotion. Whatever it is, I believe you are defined as a photographer not just by the content you are photographing, but also by what you are ultimately saying with that content. By doing so, you include a personal imprint which not only makes your work stronger, but also much more authentic and unique to you, the artist.

So I ask you again, what are you saying?

You need to have an opinion. You need to cut through all the noise and say something. Think about it this way: Are you defined as a human being by the vocal cords you use to speak? Or are you defined by what you are literally saying?

Perhaps you are saying nothing, but sometimes that’s saying a lot.

What are you trying to say?

When I ask myself this question, I have difficulty finding an answer because I also have to dig deep. Then again, the answer is always the same. What I’m trying to say is that there is beauty in truth, honesty and vulnerability. What I’m trying to say is that we don’t have to hide behind the façade of perfection. What I’m trying to say is that we’d all be a little better off if we let our guards down every once in a while and opened up – at least, that’s what I’m trying to say. Pointing at the fact that I use a certain type of camera, lighting equipment or pixel count is of no importance to me. They are mere tools, vocal cords, if you will, to get my message across.

I’m just trying to be honest, and I want to inspire others to do the same.

What are you trying to say?

by Jason Lam

BOOST YOUR PRODUCTIVITY WITH "DO NOTHING SUNDAYS"

Do Nothing Sundays.

That’s right, do absolutely nothing on Sundays. You’re not allowed to work. You’re not even allowed to think about work. All you’re allowed to do is relax and take a break.

I know. You’re a workaholic, and you’re proud of it. You find the idea of taking a day off ridiculous, but believe it or not, you will become more productive by scheduling breaks into your routine.

Why?

1. Taking time off to recharge your batteries will give you the clarity of mind and energy to tackle the week’s activities.
2. Knowing that you can’t work on certain days will encourage you to work smarter and more efficiently to get the same amount of work done.

Not unlike an Olympic athlete, or simply the engine of a car, if you don’t take breaks and allow time to recuperate, you run the risk of serious injury. You’ll start having trouble sleeping. You’ll start drinking more than you should. You’ll have high blood pressure, stress, depression, anxiety and possibly even premature death. I don’t want that to happen to you.

Action steps for you to take immediately:

1. You’re allowed to work Monday through Saturday, but you are not allowed to work on Sundays.
2. Once you’ve gotten into the habit of doing nothing on Sundays, extend it to Saturdays as well.

Take care of yourself.

by Jason Lam