What to do when you don't know what to do
Admit you don't know what to do
Get over the fact that you are a flawed human being
Summon up the courage to ask for help
Receive help
Learn from the help
Get better
Next time you encounter a similar situation you might be able to ask for less help
That will make you feel better about yourself
Because you might feel like you’re an infallible human being after all
Until, of course, you end up needing help again
by Jason Lam
No one’s going to tell you to start
And even after you’ve started, no one’s going to tell you to keep going
Do what you know is true to yourself
Not everyone is going to like it
Some people are going to hate what you do
Others couldn’t have a care in the world
But there will always be the select few that will love what you do
And those are the people that matter
Create for those people
Forget about everyone else
Keep going
by Jason Lam
Instagram doesnt make me feel good
I want to like it
But I can’t
I feel this pressure to be awesome
All the time
Even when I’m not
I want to delete it, and I have before
But it’s true. I miss out on a lot of social interaction with my friends and I become “out of the loop”
I don’t like being out of the loop
But being in the loop doesn’t make me feel good
What to do?
Deactivate instead of delete?
Enforce a strict schedule on myself so I only check it once a week?
Or to stop worrying and love the gram?
I don’t really know
I just know that instagram doesn’t make me feel good
by Jason Lam
Whats art if not just a way for us to get someone to pay attention when we’re sad, lonely, afraid?
No, crying didn’t work. Ranting didn’t work. Screaming. Yelling. Throwing tantrums didn’t work.
So we make art.
We make our problems beautiful.
So for once,
Someone, somewhere out there,
Will listen.
by Jason Lam
We don’t want a home.
We want shelter.
A dwelling where we can feel protected.
Safe.
From the vast chaoticness of the world.
A space to be ourselves.
And ideally, perhaps, even a comfy bed to sleep in and windows for some fresh air.
We want a place where we can rest.
Where we can let our guard down.
Where we don’t have to worry about what others think all the time.
Where we can,
For once...
Take care of ourselves.
by Jason Lam
The sleepless nights. The long weekends. The moments where you feel like no matter how hard you try, your work just seems to fall flat? The low pay. The failed negotiations. The inability to answer the question “So what do you do?”
Is it worth it?
—
Maybe
You get the freedom, flexibility to do what you want when you want, but you also lose the security. The stable income. The ability to talk to your friends about more or less the same things and be more or less understood.
Is it worth it?
—
Maybe
On the rare occasions. You get paid a ton of money to be doing what you’d essentially do for free. On other occasions, you don’t get paid enough to do what you absolutely hate. “I didn’t spend a decade of my left perfecting my craft to make this bullshit!” You say to yourself.
Is it worth it?
—
Maybe
Other occasions you just so happen to be in downtown and you see people shuffling up and down the sidewalks with their coffees in hand rushing from here to there and you can’t help but think to yourself, “Glad I’m not that guy,” as you cruise on by at your own leisure. You spend as much time as you want at the park soaking up the sunshine. Life is good. But then you can’t afford to pay rent. Let alone a bowl of ramen.
Is it worth it?
—
Maybe
You have a chance to change the world and if you’re really good, maybe end up in the New York Times or at the MoMa or end up being one of the most important figures of your generation. Who cares if you have to go a couple of nights sleeping on your friend's couch? Who cares if you can’t answer the question “So what do you do?” Who cares if your parents think you’re an utter failure. Who cares? Who fucking cares?!
Is it worth it?
by Jason Lam
Show me all of you.
I don’t want to just hear about your strengths. Tell me about your weaknesses. Your traumas. The lonely nights tossing and turning in bed. Tell me about the deep wounds in your heart. And the things you’ve done to try and deal with it all. We are not only our strengths. Nor are we only our weaknesses. We are all of them, and more. We are the meanings and lessons we choose to draw from our hardships.
Show me all of you.
Because it is the painful experiences that make us who we are. We are not only the good times we like to remember. We are also the hardships we want to ignore.
Pain and frustration is the wind and the rain that throughout the years carve us into the human beings we are today.
Show me all of you.
I will show you all of me.
by Jason Lam
You can't do it like me.
Because there's only one me.
But I also can't do it like you.
Because there's only one you
by Jason Lam
You're missing out.
Every time you choose to look this way and not that way, you are missing out.
Every time you go here instead of there, you are missing out.
Any decisions you make in life, you are missing out on other opportunities waiting just around the corner.
What to do about it?
Deal with it.
You know what you came here for, so go out and get it.
Who cares about the missed opportunities? You don’t want them anyway.
The only other alternative would be to be so concerned with FOMO that you never make a decision in the first place.
You chose to be here.
Stop acting like you’re so surprised.
by Jason Lam
I don’t mind wasting time. As long as it’s with you. Just me and you and the sea of blue. Roses in your hair and some other flowers. I don’t care. Let’s lay in the sand and watch the clouds go by. When I’m with you it’s like I’m high. And I don’t even smoke.
by Jason Lam
First comes the GPAs. Then the perfect attendance. Then the high school you get into. Then comes college. Then the college major. Then the college degree. Then the job. Then the salary to pay off your loans. Then the plateau that makes you wonder if you should get a masters degree. Then you get a masters degree. Then more loans. Then there’s the new job title. The bigger bank account. But wait a minute, you’re still single. Let’s find you a girlfriend. Now you’re going on dates. Then you finally find yourself a girlfriend. But your family and friends don’t think she’s pretty enough. Then you go searching for another one until the day comes and you get engaged. Then you need to plan the wedding. Then you get married. Then there’s the honeymoon. The house. The car. The white picket fence. Kids. A bigger house. A bigger car. Now your kids’ GPAs aren’t high enough. Now you're tired. Maybe it's time for a vacation. But when you arrive it’s not as great as you thought it would be. Oh no, your back is starting to hurt. Age is kicking in. In comes the chiropractor. The medication. The fact that he’s just milking you for all you’re worth. Fuck it, you even try acupuncture. All of the sudden you have needles sticking out from all parts of your body. He says you should do tai chi. But you just go back to work. All the while, time is ticking. Life is passing you by. And you’re going to get there, you say to yourself. Savings are adding up. 401ks adding up. Social security. Roth IRAs. Investment properties. They’re all adding up. And one day you look in the mirror at your 50-year-old self, and you’ve arrived. You’re married. You have a big house. A nice car. You can enjoy your life now. But the thing is you can’t. Your health is deteriorating, you've tarnished more relationships than you can count, and all you end up doing is spending all your hard-earned money on healing your mind, body, and soul after neglecting yourself for so many years. Then comes the senior home. Then comes your children who never seem to visit enough. Then it comes. Then it comes. Then it comes. And it’s never ending, and you look back and realize this was all kind of silly. Perhaps you should not have cared so much about what others thought of you. Perhaps you should not have tried so damn hard to keep up in this rat race that never really existed or mattered in the first place. Perhaps you should have taken more chances, eaten more ice cream, and spent more sleepless nights staring at the starry nights with your loved ones. Perhaps all the troubles you’re dealing with are just in your head, and you can actually do something about it. Perhaps this time around, you’ll have the courage to wake yourself up and make a change. Perhaps this time around, it doesn’t have to be never-ending. Perhaps, this time around, it can end. I mean wasting all your time and energy acquiring and stressing over things that don’t actually matter to the core of who you are. I mean all the time you spent trying to be perfect when we are all imperfect. Perhaps this time around, it can end, and when it ends, you can start again. I really hope you do start again.
by Jason Lam
To be a photographer is to be a fan of light
To be a photographer is to be a fan of how light shapes the way we see
To be a photographer is to be a fan of how light shapes the way we feel
To be a photographer is to be a fan of how light shapes the way we behave
Some photographers like to manipulate light
Some photographers like to leave it be
To be a photographer is to be a fan of light
To be a photographer is to be a fan of life
by Jason Lam
Naked Rainbow. Henna tattoos. Massages. Andy’s stand up. Our dome. DJ David, Charles, and Richie. Pac-man ghost. Mayan art car. Robot heart. Tycho. Fire dancing. Confessions. Finally, normal people. Deep playa. The woman breathes. Free. Dust storms. White outs. Foam party. The infamous white tiger. Flaming piano trebuchet. Vegan organic coconut pistachio ice cream. Hot dogs. Burgers. Pink gym. The giant sheep butt hole slide. Art car hopping. Harry Potter cocktail hour. Brent’s braids. Junga. Tiki car. The robot stalker. Seeing the “real me.” “NOOOOO!!!!” Watching the sunrise on the very last day. Dick stick. Frozen dumplings. Salads. Avocados. Swinging trampoline. CAPrisun. LAWyer. Antoine. Joanne. Irene. Richie. Ellen. Greg. Grace. Kevin. David and Sophia’s curry. Coconut water with chia seeds. Miinkay’s yoga workshop. Sleeping in the dome. Sleeping in the hammock. Hugs. More hugs. “Welcome home.” Meeting Home. Watermelon. The funniest seesaw ever. Boob dome. Jumping into a pit of pillows. Twerk shop. Healing foot wash. More ice cream. French toast. Pancakes. Freshly baked pizza. Snow cones. French fries. Oscar. Phi’s top hat. Theo. Yasmin’s awesome dancing. Mike. Candice. Wendy. Dragon staff. Smoked oysters. Tearing through a million packs of ramen in the middle of the night. Kyoshi’s baked goods. Dancing. LED hoops. Kimchi fried rice. Trader Joe’s curry. Ellen’s tortilla soup. The fire house. Smoothies. Open bars. Celtic chaos. Camp question. White ocean. The stage with the freakin airplane. Love. Freedom. Smiles. Saying hi to absolute strangers. Tri-tip. Ribs. Black Rock City Subway. Pirate ships. Chi’s super white teeth. Two Esthers. Really Really Good! French quarter. Beignets. Taichi stick fighting. Accoustic guitars. Look it’s a space ship. Giant cat. Laying in the dome watching the fabrics and cd's swaying in the wind. Working together. Being there for one another. Trapped in the porta potties. The front porch. Animal Crackers art car. Seeing the man burn. Getting lost in the maze. Mushroom clouds. Fire shooting unicorn. Hot air balloon. Palm tree art car. Richard riding his bicycle like a madman right beside me. Giant typewriter. Girl with the orange star-shaped sunglasses. Chad loves noodles. Pickle flavored popcorn is ew. Lasers. Here I see more me. Thank you for the awesome bandana. Give more. Hugs. I love you. I am worthy of your love. Authorize yourself. Trust the dust. Let it all go. Welcome it all in. Live. Love. Burn.
All the things I loved about Burning Man 2015.
by Jason Lam
Growing up, we’re not given many choices. The family we have. The place we grow up. The ones who look down on us. And the ones who bring us up. Things just happen a certain way, and we turn out the way we do. We’re like clay that has yet to harden, sculpted by those around us whether we like it or not. If we are lucky enough, life finally gives us a good look at ourselves.
“So this is the person I’ve become?”
By this time, the clay has begun to harden, though there is still time to make some changes. Some people just let it be while others seize the opportunity.
One thing’s for sure, by the time the clay has finally set, the only way to make adjustments is to let it break.
Do you like the clay you’ve been molded into?
Or would you like to make some changes?
Maybe there’s still time to make some changes.
by Jason Lam
