HOW DO YOU DEFINE YOURSELF AS A PHOTOGRAPHER?

How do you define yourself as a photographer? If you define yourself in terms of high pixel count, luxury cameras and expensive strobe lights, then you’re dead meat. That’s like if Picasso defined himself by the paintbrushes he used, if Ernest Hemingway defined himself by his typewriter, or if Walt Disney defined himself by the sketchpad he used to create Mickey Mouse. Are tools important? Damn right they are, but they are mere trivialities when it comes to who you are as an artist.

To all the photographers out there, how do you define yourself? Separate from the tools you work with; what is the content with which you fill your blank canvas?

On first thought, you may think to yourself: food, landscapes, portraits, dance, cats and sunsets. You may think that it is the content you photograph that defines you. Sure, but I invite you to dig a little deeper and to ask yourself this question:

What are you saying?

Your answer doesn’t necessarily have to be a statement; it can be a question or even a certain emotion. Whatever it is, I believe you are defined as a photographer not just by the content you are photographing, but also by what you are ultimately saying with that content. By doing so, you include a personal imprint which not only makes your work stronger, but also much more authentic and unique to you, the artist.

So I ask you again, what are you saying?

You need to have an opinion. You need to cut through all the noise and say something. Think about it this way: Are you defined as a human being by the vocal cords you use to speak? Or are you defined by what you are literally saying?

Perhaps you are saying nothing, but sometimes that’s saying a lot.

What are you trying to say?

When I ask myself this question, I have difficulty finding an answer because I also have to dig deep. Then again, the answer is always the same. What I’m trying to say is that there is beauty in truth, honesty and vulnerability. What I’m trying to say is that we don’t have to hide behind the façade of perfection. What I’m trying to say is that we’d all be a little better off if we let our guards down every once in a while and opened up – at least, that’s what I’m trying to say. Pointing at the fact that I use a certain type of camera, lighting equipment or pixel count is of no importance to me. They are mere tools, vocal cords, if you will, to get my message across.

I’m just trying to be honest, and I want to inspire others to do the same.

What are you trying to say?

by Jason Lam

BOOST YOUR PRODUCTIVITY WITH "DO NOTHING SUNDAYS"

Do Nothing Sundays.

That’s right, do absolutely nothing on Sundays. You’re not allowed to work. You’re not even allowed to think about work. All you’re allowed to do is relax and take a break.

I know. You’re a workaholic, and you’re proud of it. You find the idea of taking a day off ridiculous, but believe it or not, you will become more productive by scheduling breaks into your routine.

Why?

1. Taking time off to recharge your batteries will give you the clarity of mind and energy to tackle the week’s activities.
2. Knowing that you can’t work on certain days will encourage you to work smarter and more efficiently to get the same amount of work done.

Not unlike an Olympic athlete, or simply the engine of a car, if you don’t take breaks and allow time to recuperate, you run the risk of serious injury. You’ll start having trouble sleeping. You’ll start drinking more than you should. You’ll have high blood pressure, stress, depression, anxiety and possibly even premature death. I don’t want that to happen to you.

Action steps for you to take immediately:

1. You’re allowed to work Monday through Saturday, but you are not allowed to work on Sundays.
2. Once you’ve gotten into the habit of doing nothing on Sundays, extend it to Saturdays as well.

Take care of yourself.

by Jason Lam

WHY YOU NEED TO OVERCOME YOUR FEAR OF LOOKING STUPID

Learning, growing, and kicking ass is a process, and looking stupid is a part of that process.

Let’s be honest. You weren’t always this sexy. You weren’t always this ripped. You weren’t always this good in bed. You weren’t always this smart.

If you’re completely honest, you looked like a complete idiot when you first started doing anything you now call yourself “good” at.

However, as we get older, it’s as if our ability to look stupid seems to weaken. More and more, I hear close friends of mine telling me of things they want to do but don’t.

“No way, I’ll look like such a dumbass.”

“I don’t want to embarrass myself.”

“Everybody’s going to laugh at me.”

But here’s the thing. Failing and looking stupid is an essential part of learning and growing. If we are to zoom out and take a look at the bigger picture, we’ll understand that embarrassing ourselves is simply the stepping-stone towards greatness. All of the sudden, the phase of stupidity seems more bearable.

We as adults mistakenly believe the initial incompetence and embarrassment of a new undertaking will last forever. It’s as if every time you summon the courage to do something new, there’s a big black hole waiting to suck you in. It also doesn’t help that all your friends are there with their smartphones, ready to document your utter failure and laugh at you for the rest of your life.

Step One: If your friends are doing that, then you shouldn’t be friends with them anymore.

Step Two: Unfortunately, people find a lot of joy at the expense of others (which is further exacerbated by the seeming permanence of smartphones and the Internet), but that comes with the territory. Just remember that this momentary relapse in gracefulness is not a reflection of the entire you, and it need not be taken personally.

Far too many people fail to grow into higher versions of themselves because they don’t want to look stupid when they are merely inexperienced – at least in that very moment in time. Out of the fear of looking stupid, many people, surprisingly, stay stupid. The reality is you probably do look a bit silly doing anything for the first time. If you held a mirror up and got a good look at yourself, I’m sure you’d have a good laugh as well. Find solace in the fact that looking anything but graceful when venturing out into new territory is absolutely normal. Embarrassing yourself is just a small, necessary step toward a much longer process of growth and wisdom. If anything, looking stupid is simply a prerequisite to totally kicking ass.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Remember, you’ve stumbled, crawled and fell over and over again before you learned how to walk. That didn’t stop you. You couldn’t even write your own name correctly at one point in your life. That didn’t stop you. You were terrible in bed once. That didn’t stop you. Why should anything else stop you now?

Go out and look stupid.

by Jason Lam

WHY YOU NEED TO SCRATCH YOUR ITCHES

Itch.

Scratch.

Satisfaction.

You need to scratch your itches because there’s this thing we all love to do called drifting into Dreamland. Dreamland is great. Everything is perfect in Dreamland, and that’s precisely the problem.

Our minds have this uncanny ability to keep us hopeful and optimistic about the future by creating images of perfection. Dreams. And if you’re anything like me, you have more dreams than you’d like to admit. You’re also convinced that if these dreams were to just come true, your life will be better.

That’s when you need to scratch your itches.

Why?

1. Because you’re going to do it anyway, so you might as well do it now.

2. If you don’t, you’re going to be wasting a lot of time and energy drifting into Dreamland instead of facing reality.

3. By scratching your itches, you find out through first-hand experience whether or not you actually want to make these dreams come true

Dreams treat us very nicely. A little too nicely.

When we’re dreaming, we only envision the good parts. It’s like watching a movie and skipping straight to the end and reaping the fruits of your labor ... without the actual labor. We don’t dream about the hard work we must endure, the sleepless nights, or the moments of doubt we often encounter. Pain and struggle simply do not exist in our dreams, making them dangerous because they neglect the reality of the work needed in order to turn dreams into reality.

When deciding on what to pursue for a future in love, work or just life in general, it can be incredibly paralyzing. How in the world are you supposed to know without trying? You can surely imagine how great your life could be when drifting into Dreamland, but by actually trying it out, you get a sneak peak at your dreams in a more realistic light.

1 of 2 things will happen when you scratch your itches:

1. You realize it’s not worth the hard work and learn to appreciate reality.

2. You realize that you love the hard work and continue down this road. Congrats!

Either way, you win.

This is not to say to stop dreaming, or that dreams cannot come true. In fact, many of the greatest innovations in today’s world came from the ability to dream up the impossible. Instead, be a realistic dreamer. Take into consideration the often overlooked, yet incredibly necessary hard work that is required of each and every single one of us when turning dreams into reality.

Start thinking of dreams and reality as a couple. While you may not necessarily like reality, it is here to stay. The only way to deal with reality is to change the way you feel about it, and thus, change the way you work with reality. By accepting the fact that reality is never going away, you can finally allow yourself enough discipline to go through with doing things that are, well… difficult.

by Jason Lam

WHY YOU NEED TO CURE YOUR PHONE ADDICTION

Let’s start off by testing to see if you’re addicted to your phone:

Do you:

• Check your phone first thing in the morning?
• Freak out when your phone runs out of battery?
• Check your phone even when you didn’t hear any notifications?
• Understand fully that using your phone while driving puts both your life and the lives of others in danger, but do it anyway?
• Believe that life is boring without a phone?
   

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then you might be addicted. Before I start offering solutions, let me explain why this matters.

Phone addictions lead to lower quality of work, wasted time, higher stress levels, and an overall lower quality of life. You really don’t have to be scrolling through your Facebook News Feed. Same applies to your Instagram feed, or any other social app you’ve been filling your life with. Don’t worry. You won’t die. If anything, you’ll become more alive and realize the absurdity of it all as you finally take a look around and see that pretty much everybody has their noses pressed up against these little tiny screens. Crazy.

By order of severity, I have listed several options you can try as a solution to your phone addiction. If it doesn’t work for you, move on to the next line. Once you get stronger, make your way back to the top of the list.
 

1. Don’t use a phone
    
2. Replace your smartphone with a circa pre 2006 phone
    
3. Delete all social apps off your smartphone
    
4. Keep all your social apps, but turn off all notifications
    
5. Keep all social apps, but put your phone on silent
    
6. Keep all social apps, but turn off all notifications and put your phone on silent
    
7. Designate specific time slots for when you can check all your notifications – in other words: Set a timer + batch process.
    

The last one is probably the most doable and realistic, so at least give it a shot.

Checking your phone every time a notification pops up is not only highly inefficient, but it also distracts you from the current task at hand and lowers the quality of your work and your life. By simply changing your behavioral habits with your phone and designating specific time slots to batch process, you’re still functional in an increasingly modern world. You still get to have the latest smart phone. You don’t have to explain to everyone why your phone is a dinosaur. You also don’t have to explain why you don’t use social apps. In short, you get to take advantage of all the great innovations technology provides us without technology taking advantage of you.

by Jason Lam

ALL PHOTOGRAPHERS ARE CHEFS

All photographers are chefs. Yes, we have recipes too. Our main ingredients include: shutter, aperture, ISO, focal length, location and lighting. If you are a photographer, I suggest you take note of what your recipes are. If you have multiple recipes, then your portfolio should show it. That is your menu, and each one of your projects should showcase something different, much like how every plate of food a chef makes appeals to different taste buds.

My menu, for example, has several recipes, all of which you can see at the sidebar on the left. My favorite recipes usually involve black and white photos, like LES Skate Park and Street Dance Project. I also enjoy challenging myself, which is why every project I do dives into a new realm I’ve never entered before. It is my version of experimenting in the kitchen, as a chef does, and coming up with new recipes.

Some photographers only have one recipe. Actually, most of the greats really only have one, but that one recipe is amazing! For example: Annie Leibovitz, Richard Avedon, Peter Lindbergh, Nobuyoshi Araki, Irving Penn, Daido Moriyama and Mary Ellen Mark. If you know photography, then you know what I’m talking about. Every single one of these photographers has a very distinct look. They created a recipe unique to themselves, and we can’t get enough of it.

Who knows, you could be like Jiro Ono, who only makes sushi, or David Chang, who likes to mix it up and cooks pretty much everything. Whatever it is, start thinking of yourself as a chef and take note of your dishes. Do you have a crowd favorite? Keep going and build off its success! Or have you been cooking the same way for the past 10 years and nothing seems to hit? Maybe it’s time to sharpen up those knives, try out some new ingredients, and spice things up a bit. Do this enough times and you’ll find that you’ve created a full menu complete with mouthwatering appetizers, entrees, desserts and hey, maybe even some seasonal specials I’m sure your regulars would appreciate.

To all the photographers out there, think of yourselves as chefs. You are more than just an individual taking still images. You are an artisan, experimenting and coming up with delicious new meals you can then share with the world. At least, that’s what I strive toward. After all, what good is it to have a delicious recipe if you’re the only person who gets to eat it? Share your recipes. Share your knowledge. Share your gifts.

I share my photos and continue coming up with different recipes not just to serve my own needs of self-expression, but also to also satisfy your appetite.

My name is Jason Lam, and I’m a chef.

Welcome to my restaurant.

by Jason Lam

SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY

As a photographer, I’ve often been approached by seemingly curious, partially annoyed, and even downright angry civilians asking what I’m doing taking photos.

I never really know how to reply aside from saying, “Yes, I’m taking photos because I’m a photographer and that’s what I do.” That answer usually doesn’t suffice.

I get it. It looks weird. We as human beings are great at noticing differences in patterns since the caveman days. After all, any shift from the ordinary could be the difference between living to see another day and being served for dinner. However, the very nature of being an artist is to see things differently, do things differently, and just being different.

Don’t worry. I’m not going to eat you.

But you do think that I could be of potential harm to you, right?

Since I’ve returned home to San Francisco, I’ve spent a lot of time photographing my neighborhood. The exteriors of the beautiful houses and the entire ecosystem of manmade and natural structures fascinate me. This is something only someone who has a fresh pair of eyes can see, and that is exactly what I see. To me, this is admiration in its purest form, but to others, it is out of the ordinary and deemed suspicious activity.

You see, because you rarely see people zooming up close to details of your house. Frankly, you probably never see people take pictures of your house in general. It’s weird, and almost intrusive. In addition, seeing a tall Asian man taking pictures of neighborhood homes just doesn’t really make sense. Umm … “Excuse me sir, this is not a tourist destination, the Golden Gate Bridge is that way…”

But here’s the reality. If I’m up to any suspicious activity, it’s that I’m taking ridiculously good photos of your beautiful home.

Sorry.

by Jason Lam

WHEN THE BEST HELP IS NO HELP

Ever wonder how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly?

Caterpillars go through a phase of metamorphosis that lasts for about two weeks. To the untrained eye, the final stages of evolving into a butterfly looks as if they are stuck and struggling to get out. Some people, through the kindness of their hearts, help the butterfly out its cocoon by breaking it open, only to find that the butterfly’s wings do not work. It cannot fly. All it can do at this point is crawl and most likely die an early death.

During the last stages of the cocoon phase, what looks like the butterfly is struggling is actually its way of strengthening its wings. When you help a butterfly out of its cocoon, you are taking away its opportunity of strengthening itself for the real world. You offered help when the best thing you could’ve done was to do nothing at all.

Something to think about.

by Jason Lam

WHAT BEING HIT WITH THE "TRAVEL BUG" REALLY MEANS

Being hit with the “travel bug” is more than simply going to as many countries as possible. It is continuing your never-ending search for knowledge about yourself and the world. In addition, it is also to sustain the knowledge you’ve gained and new being that you have grown into through your travels. Being hit with the travel bug, then, is not so much about your physical location, but a state of mind that thrives off curiosity and perpetual self-growth. For me, being hit with the travel bug has led to many new friendships, incredibly insightful conversations, reading a ton of books, and great life changing experiences. In this way, I will always be traveling, and you can too.

by Jason Lam

ARTISTS, YOU NEED TO DATE YOURSELF

I had a wonderful conversation last year with my friend Laila here in San Francisco. We met back in 2012 when I first moved to New York City. At the time, we were both working in the photography industry. Funny enough, we both decided that our personalities were better suited for San Francisco, so here we are. Plus, our families are here.

She showed me her super cool studio in the Outer Mission, we had a quick portrait shoot with her film camera, then proceeded to enjoy some lattes at a local cafe. She mentioned something really cool that day. She said to date yourself. No, not in terms of being single in the love department, but to treat yourself as an artist.

How does this work?

Simple. You choose a day. Any day of the week, and you go out and do whatever creative things you want to do. This could be working on that one project you’ve been thinking about for the longest time but never started, going to the museum, or simply spending an entire day at your local bookstore. Point being, you intentionally free yourself of any responsibilities for the day and authorize yourself to do the things that you enjoy and inspire you.

Some people might view this as a waste of time.“Why are you being so leisurely?” They might ask. But those people simply do not have an understanding of how creativity works. Writer James Taylor breaks creativity down into five essential steps, and the first step? Preparation, but I’ll call it INSPIRATION. And inspiration comes from exposing yourself to things you otherwise would never experience. That includes watching movies, traveling, going to parts of the city you normally wouldn’t go to, or simply taking a different route home. It might not seem like “work” but it is. When you date yourself, you are absorbing as much information as possible. Inspiration is a crucial part to our creativity. It is the root and the soil from which all great ideas grow, and it is something that you must not neglect.

The mixture of the different experiences you encounter when you date yourself will then allow you to come up with truly original art. Many of my ideas for writing, video, photography, dance, and even ways of speaking come from the unique concoction of experiences that I’ve had in my life. In this way, we are all chefs, we are all mixologists, and we are all inventors, if only we first allow ourselves to be.

So date yourself. Take yourself out for a treat. It can be as simple as visiting the local museum, or something as grand as doing a cross-country road trip in your Volkswagen Westfalia (Totally something to do on my checklist. I will do it someday!). Who knows what you will find, and who knows how this will benefit you in the long run. One thing’s for sure, sitting on your butt and staying put ain’t gonna get you anywhere. So take yourself out on a date! You’ve got nothing to lose, and only fun to be had. Take a day off, and take care of you!

Thank you, Laila, for the insightful idea. Now, go take yourself out on a date!

by Jason Lam

THAT TIME I GOT KICKED OUT OF UCLA

Here’s a story I’ve never told anyone. When I was in high school, I got kicked out of UCLA before I even got in. See, you apply to college around the beginning of your senior year, and you find out closer to graduation if you got accepted. I was a pretty good student in high school. I got good grades and ranked 50 overall in a senior class of several hundred people. Not bad. UCLA was my school of choice and to my excitement, I got in! But here’s the catch, all universities have requirements you must fulfill even after getting accepted, otherwise your application is revoked. In my case, I had to maintain above an unweighted 3.0 GPA and not get anything lower than a C. No problem, I thought, I’ve been a good student all my life; this will be a walk in the park.

I was wrong.

There’s this teacher named Dr. Won who teaches intermediate to advanced level Chinese. Throughout my time at George Washington High School, I’ve always heard terrible stories about how she’d flunk her students for no reason, how she’d make everybody sing terrible songs, and not to mention, the outrageous Snoopy outfits she’d wear to school everyday. I never thought that I’d ever have to take her class, but lo and behold, there I was sitting in her classroom my senior year of high school.

From the first day I knew it’d be bad because she immediately split the class into two groups. This was done rather deliberately, and while nobody said it, it was quite obvious that she separated the smart people from the dumb people. Me? I was in the dumb group. I didn’t mind though, as I was surrounded by all my awesome friends. (Funny how the worst situations can always be made better with good company, huh?)

So this was how bad the class was. Not only did we not learn anything at all, but we also had to put together these ridiculous 2-inch binders filled with so much useless crap that I could never even fit it into my backpack. In addition, we had to spend hours on end gluing together pieces of lined paper, folding it perfectly so they fit back into our fat binders. Then, we’d top it all off by doing fake calligraphy. I say fake calligraphy because we had to draw oversized Chinese characters with No. 2 pencils and make it look like calligraphy. It was very tedious work, and I’m sure she was aware of that. How did she grade these assignments? By how nicely you glued together your pieces of paper, which, needless to say, took forever, and how nicely you drew the Chinese characters. Everybody hated her class. No matter how meticulous and detailed we were in putting together these monstrous pieces of artwork, she’d always find a way to mark it all up with her red sharpie and tell you to do it all over again. In addition to seeing our life’s work go to complete waste, we had to endure listening to her stories about how much she loves Snoopy day in and day out. Some days I would even forget that I was supposed to be learning Chinese.

Still, if you were able to keep your head down, not make too much of a ruckus, and just do the work, it was manageable. Like I said, I had awesome friends beside me in the “dumb” section so it was all good. My first semester? I got a C. No idea how that happened, but no matter, my overall GPA was still above a 3.0. I still met the requirements for getting into my dream school.

My second semester was a little different.

I’m not too sure what this was contingent on, but I’m guessing it was on a general bias she had toward certain students and this one huge assignment we had.

Remember those lined papers we had to glue together? And those giant Chinese characters we had to draw? Well, our final project was this, on steroids. It took forever, but my final product was a work of art. She’d love it, I thought to myself. It was the end of second semester already, the year was about to end, I’m about to graduate, and I’m sure this would garner me at least a B. Plus, enough time has passed for me to perfect this useless piece of craftsmanship. I’m sure this time, I will be able to bypass any and all imperfections she always seemed to find through her thick bifocals. Red sharpie? She would have no use for it this time.

But when I went to turn it in, she wouldn’t take it. She said I was late, even though I was obviously on time, as she was accepting the assignments of people who were coming in after me. I didn’t understand. It didn’t make any sense. This would lower my final grade by a whole letter, but I couldn’t do anything about it. When I asked for an explanation, she quickly flipped through the pages I painstakingly worked on and effortlessly vomited all over it with her red sharpie.

I had to do it all over again. I turned it in the next day. Fingers crossed.

Once again, I was wrong.

When I got my report card I was shocked because not only did I get a D-, my GPA was now below 3.0, and as expected, my letter of rejection from UCLA came promptly after that. “We regret to inform you that…” etc. Whatever, you get the message. I got kicked out of UCLA.

This sucked. I mean, it really sucked. I couldn’t tell anyone. How could I? I just told the entire world that I got into UCLA. Now I need to tell everyone that I’m not going anymore? How embarrassing. I would be the laughing stock of the century. So I kept it a secret, but the last few weeks leading up to my graduation was a nightmare. I went straight to my counselor, Mr. Kozak, who everyone also seemed to hate, but fortunately for me, we seemed to get along. I asked for his help…

OK fine, I begged.

What we had to do was to build a case. We had to explain to UCLA that Dr. Won is the type of teacher who had been at the school for so long and had such seniority, that despite the fact that she ruins the futures of students, the school cannot do anything about it. We tried to do the obvious. Ask her why I got a D-, request if I could do any sort of extra credit to raise my grade. None of it worked. She wasn’t budging. My only other option was to go to all my other teachers – I had six other teachers at the time – and ask, ok fine, beg! them to raise my grade. This was very annoying, not to mention embarrassing. I’m not going to lie, I was not the best student my very last semester in high school. Then again, I was not expecting to get hit with a D-. I did all the extra credit I could to raise my grades, but that only worked so much. What I had to do was explain my situation to all my teachers how Dr. Won was completely screwing me over, hoping that they could identify with my situation, and raise my grade to balance out the damage she did. It worked on some, it didn’t work on others.

Meanwhile, my counselor and I were trying our hardest to put together a letter of appeal explaining my situation. Even the school dean and principle stepped in. I still remember driving over to his house to drop off my letter the night before graduation. That’s right. I still didn’t know if I was going to UCLA, or college in fact.

I also remember having to go to school particularly early on graduation day to speak with one of the career counselors and see if she heard anything back about my status at UCLA. As you can tell, I was reaching out to anybody who could help me.

It was 1 hour before graduation.

She didn’t hear anything back.

I get teary eyed.

She immediately consoles and tells me that everything will be okay.

“Today, you are graduating. You’ve put in four great years of work into this school, and you will walk across that stage with your head up.”

Graduation was fun. I was part of band all 4 years, and ever since I was a freshman, there I’d be, playing the graduation song for all of our ceremonies. This time, it was my turn to walk across the stage as “Pomp and Circumstance” filled the air. I was quite proud, though it was bittersweet.

I found out a month later that everything worked out. Not only were some of my teachers willing to raise my grade, but the letter of appeal also worked. I was going to UCLA after all. Thank God.

I don’t really know what the moral of this story is, other than the fact that I just wanted to tell it. Perhaps it’s a lesson that sometimes, life takes a giant shit on you for no apparent reason, and you just have to figure it out. You can figure it out, in fact. You just have to trust that there are many people out there ready and willing to help you. You also have to have the courage to admit you need help in the first place. Oh, and cover your ass and don’t take shortcuts. You never know when life will come back and bite you.

The 4 years I spent at UCLA were some of the best years of my life. It was at UCLA where I first discovered my voice. It’s a little shocking to know that all of that could’ve been taken away so easily. But perhaps it is the fragility and elusiveness of it all that compels me to continue sharing my stories with you today.

by Jason Lam

BECOMING MORE LIKE MY AUTHENTIC SELF

Sometimes it can be easy to lose your way as an artist. In an attempt to get work, you may try and become more like someone else. Or as those in the industry once told me, “You’re not commercial enough.” How upsetting.

I can’t help but notice the correlation between being an artist today and growing up as a child. When we’re growing up, we’re made to feel like it’s bad to be different. It’s almost like if you’re different, you did something wrong. You’re inferior, and the only way to fit in with the cool kids is to begin walking and talking like everyone else. In my case, I ate Lunchables instead of dumplings, and drank Caprisun instead of soymilk. Looking back, it all seems a little silly but the thing is, it is normal. It is normal to feel like you want to be like the other kids; it’s just that as a result, you have to learn to abandon other parts of yourself.

The thing is, you don’t get a free “Advance to Go” card for blending in. While I may be able to downplay my Chinese identity and fit in with American society, I will still be the victim of stereotypes already established in the society in which I am trying to fit. For example, because I’m Chinese, I’m probably better suited for a job in the IT or accounting department. How upsetting. You feel like you may be gaining friends and popularity by downplaying who you really are, but in reality you are just buying into and further perpetuating the preconceived notions. By choosing to fit in, you are also choosing to look at yourself through the eyes of other people. As a result of being like the others kids, you accept the false preconceptions of who you are and push aside parts of your true identity. Preconceived stereotypes become the way you view yourself, and all of the sudden you find yourself going through an identity crisis – soul searching around the world, seeing a therapist, and doing whatever it takes to strip yourself of what’s been placed on you. Sometimes, even I doubted myself and began thinking that maybe I am the insecure, sub-masculine, and socially inept Chinese man portrayed by stereotypes. Maybe I shouldn’t try to be someone I’m not. So much for fitting in, huh?

I went into the arts because I wanted to free myself from the stereotypes that have been placed upon me. My decision to not to be a lawyer, doctor or engineer is a way to prove I don’t have to give in to the stereotypes of others. My decision to be an artist is also to prove that people who look like me are capable of doing other things. I know there is nothing righteous about this. I’m not expecting awards or any sort of recognition, but a big part of me chose to go down this path because it allows me to be accepting of others as well. It is only by freeing myself from stereotypes and viewing myself differently, am I then able to free myself from stereotypes I may have of other people. Becoming an artist and taking the road less traveled enables me to be more accepting of myself and also the beauty of the differences in others as well.

I’m not completely bashing attempts to be like others. Frankly speaking, I feel that those who want to be different for the sake of being different are victims of another childlike mind trick they’ve fallen into called the “ego,” but we can talk abut this in a later post. We are social beings with the natural inclination to be part of a tribe that identifies with a common set of values. I’ll be the first one to admit that I’ve tried to be like the cool kids, dying my hair, wearing baggy jeans, and wanting to drive a sports car. Then again, I found out I wasn’t really into all that. Still, I only know this because I tried to fit in. Surprisingly enough, we can learn a lot about ourselves by copying others. By trying to be like the popular kids, I’ve discovered parts of myself that would have remained hidden had I never tried to fit in. 

Why?

Because every time I fail to be more like you, I become more like myself. Likewise, every time you fail to be like everyone else, you become more like you. Failing creates an opportunity for creation, innovation and originality. They are blessings in disguise that allow you to become more you. The reality is I saved myself from many years of self-imprisonment by realizing how good it is to be me. And I hope you save yourself from years of self-torment by realizing how good it is to be you. 

So, give in to the noise and forfeit your identity? Or fight back and stay true to who you are?

The choice is yours.

by Jason Lam

THE THING IS, IT'S NEVER-ENDING

First comes the GPAs. Then the perfect attendance. Then the high school you get into. Then comes college. Then the college major. Then the college degree. Then the job. Then the salary to pay off your loans. Then the plateau that makes you wonder if you should get a masters degree. Then you get a masters degree. Then more loans. Then there’s the new job title. The bigger bank account. But wait a minute, you’re still single. Let’s find you a girlfriend. Now you’re going on dates. Then you finally find yourself a girlfriend. But your family and friends don’t think she’s pretty enough. Then you go searching for another one until the day comes and you get engaged. Then you need to plan the wedding. Then you get married. Then there’s the honeymoon. The house. The car. The white picket fence. Kids. A bigger house. A bigger car. Now your kids’ GPAs aren’t high enough. Now you're tired. Maybe it's time for a vacation. But when you arrive it’s not as great as you thought it would be. Oh no, your back is starting to hurt. Age is kicking in. In comes the chiropractor. The medication. The fact that he’s just milking you for all you’re worth. Fuck it, you even try acupuncture. All of the sudden you have needles sticking out from all parts of your body. He says you should do tai chi. But you just go back to work. All the while, time is ticking. Life is passing you by. And you’re going to get there, you say to yourself. Savings are adding up. 401ks adding up. Social security. Roth IRAs. Investment properties. They’re all adding up. And one day you look in the mirror at your 50-year-old self, and you’ve arrived. You’re married. You have a big house. A nice car. You can enjoy your life now. But the thing is you can’t. Your health is deteriorating, you've tarnished more relationships than you can count, and all you end up doing is spending all your hard-earned money on healing your mind, body, and soul after neglecting yourself for so many years. Then comes the senior home. Then comes your children who never seem to visit enough. Then it comes. Then it comes. Then it comes. And it’s never ending, and you look back and realize this was all kind of silly. Perhaps you should not have cared so much about what others thought of you. Perhaps you should not have tried so damn hard to keep up in this rat race that never really existed or mattered in the first place. Perhaps you should have taken more chances, eaten more ice cream, and spent more sleepless nights staring at the starry nights with your loved ones. Perhaps all the troubles you’re dealing with are just in your head, and you can actually do something about it. Perhaps this time around, you’ll have the courage to wake yourself up and make a change. Perhaps this time around, it doesn’t have to be never-ending. Perhaps, this time around, it can end. I mean wasting all your time and energy acquiring and stressing over things that don’t actually matter to the core of who you are. I mean all the time you spent trying to be perfect when we are all imperfect. Perhaps this time around, it can end, and when it ends, you can start again. I really hope you do start again.

by Jason Lam

10 MYTHS ABOUT LIFE YOU SHOULD PROBABLY BREAK

1) If you’re good to the world, the world will be good to you. No. Bad things happen to good people all the time. The world will not treat you fairly. I know, it sucks but as long as you cling onto this assumption, you will be mad and upset for the rest of your life. Don’t take it so personally. The car cutting you off on the highway has nothing to do with you. The cold weather has nothing to do with you. The belligerent drunk knocking over your drink has nothing to do with you. Bad things don’t just happen to bad people; it happens to all people. The world will not treat you fairly. Accept this fact, and move on.

2) If your lover has wronged you, you get to be mad at them forever. Sometimes our lovers piss us off – that happens in all relationships. Go ahead and vent; you’re going to have to get it out your system anyway so you might as well get it over with now. In healthy relationships, your partner will apologize and offer to try and make things better. The problem is that you as the victim often fall into a state of unforgiveness that makes it impossible to resolve the problem. This brings the relationship to a halt (no matter how justified you think your feelings), and the two of you will be stuck there forever, all because of your stubborn self. Forgive. You don’t have to forget. But definitely move on. Together.

3) You should not have to feel pain. If you have no aspirations, and staying in your comfort zone feels nice, cozy and safe, then this perhaps doesn’t apply to you. For the rest of you who aspire to make a dent in the universe, you’re going to have to learn how roll with the punches. Learning and growing is painful, but that’s the price you have to pay for growing into your ideal selves. It is only by leaning into the pain and having the courage to get past it, that you allow yourself to be free and open to the endless opportunities that life has to offer. 

4) If you do everything perfectly in life, you won’t die. But that’s wrong, and you will die. In the words of J.K. Rowling, “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.” This is not to be too somber, but death is inevitable. What’s important is the type of person you are in the face of this cold hard fact.

5) You should be happy all the time and if you aren’t, there’s something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s no avoiding being sad, angry and frustrated at times. You can’t be flying on cloud nine for eternity. People are like waves in the ocean; sometimes we’re up and other times we’re down but no matter what, we are still living. No matter what, we are still flowing. And that’s what life is about; you just got to keep flowing.

6) You’re special. Sorry to break it to you, but you’re not. You’re just an itty bitty molecule in the larger scheme of things. As John Wooden’s father once told him, “Never believe you’re better than anybody else, but remember that you’re just as good as everybody else.” So while you may not be special, you are unique in your own way, which makes you pretty damn awesome.

7) Having a job means you have security. As Daniel H. Pink states in “A Whole New Mind,” in order for you to survive in the coming age, you need to ask yourself three questions about whatever it is that you do: Can a computer do it for you? Can someone overseas do it cheaper? Is what I’m offering in demand in an age of abundance? Unfortunately, computers have already and will continue to replace jobs. The only job security is to do what computers can’t, meaning you’re going to have to be more vulnerable, more open to connecting with people on an emotional level, and to be more human.

8) Having fun is irresponsible. Do you know the one thing successful people do that really sets them apart? Not only do they work hard, they play even harder. Better yet, they’ll probably be the first ones to admit that their greatest ideas came when they were out being “irresponsible.” Letting yourself have a little fun is necessary for your mental sanity and to be honest, the world isn’t going to end if you stop working and take some time to pursue the things that really make you tick. In fact, having the courage to pursue your greatest passions should be the greatest priority in your life. Otherwise, what’s the point of living?

9) Success = Likes + Followers. False. Gaining likes and followers does not mean you’re doing what’s right for you – it means you’re doing what’s right for them. Allowing the opinions of others dictate the decisions you make in life makes you a prisoner of your own creation. It’s actually none of your business what others think of you. All that matters is that you’re pursuing the things in life that excite you and not following someone else’s agenda for the sake of public approval. Do you need a tribe to really make waves in this world? Yes, but make sure you’re doing it on your terms. Some of the happiest people I know don’t even have smartphones.

10) It’s selfish to follow your bliss. You think it’s greedy or asking too much to pursue your passions. Somehow, you’ve tricked yourself into equating that the pursuit of your ideal self is selfish. Nothing is less true than that. If anything, you are doing a disservice to the world for not trying to be the best person you can be. When you’re not at your best, you are not sharing the greatest possible gift you can be sharing with the world. A motto that I live by is to improve the world by improving myself. By having more, I can give more. You’re going to have to be selfish first before you can begin being selfless.

P.S. Remember to love yourself, that’s the secret of happiness.

by Jason Lam

1 SECOND EVERYDAY - 2015

This is one second of my life everyday for the year of 2015. I missed the first three months because I didn’t think I was going to be up to anything interesting this year and figured it was not worth documenting. That was stupid. If there’s anything I learned this year, it’s to never believe your life will be anything short of amazing. Life can be completely uneventful, but only if you let it. Fortunately for us, every second of every day is an opportunity to do something worthwhile. That’s over 31 million seconds in a year. How will you be spending your seconds this year?

by Jason Lam